wingman

Do you do something?

Mikercw

Spanking?? Serious?

Its part of childhood, you have to be taught sometimes that things are wrong and if a child is not listen. Spanking I think is a fair way to handle, but last resort

Cooley

I glare at people a lot but only once have I in resent memory done anything... and it was more than just a spanking, the kinda just had the kid dangling and where just about beating him.... for what, running away from an abusive parent? If it ever gets to be too much in front of me again I'd go ahead and do something about it.

Cooley

I don't think most parents look at it as a last resort, more a first response.

Mikercw

Some parents....Yes you are correct, but those are the ones mostly that have been through hell with that child and they think that's the ONLY resort, cause nothing else has worked

Cooley

I've know enough that don't fit that. are mad about something and take it out on the child. punish the kid way late for something when the kid doesn't know why they are getting hit any more. Grew up getting hit so they just start with that on there kid.

Cooley

you know we can stop quoting each other, it's just you and me here.

martini

i wouldn't do anything.. not my business

Mikercw

True

That is what I would call bad parenting.... !

Cooley

I <3 you mike

Washingtonblonde

Spanking.. No.

What always gets me are parents that SCREAM at their children. UGH.. Makes me want to punch them in the throat.

While hanging out by my bike waiting to get off the ferry I saw this guy sort of man handling his child in her carseat.. Just puting her in very roughly.. and the mom in the passenger seat seemed afraid to really say anything and tended to their smallest child. I didn't do anything but sit there and GLARE (I was parked right next to them).

CStyle

In my opinion children will occasionally need to be spanked, if the circumstances require it. They do not need to be punched, slapped, hit with a foreign object, pushed, kicked, picked up by their hair, etc. If I witnessed any of those I would say/do something.

Mikercw

hmmm...
In which I would agree.
Screaming at them only teaches them thats its ok to do and normal, in which can lead to unhealthy child growing up (mentally) and in his/her future with communication.
Sadly if the mother was just sitting there that means that the husband/wife have a unhealthy relationship cause he wants to be the dominate figure and has her afraid of what he"could" do. Not only what he could do, more of the fact of what DOES he do to make the mother of a child just sit there and let the man do that to HER child too!
Sad how this world is with people thinking that they can treat anyone like they want and think its ok.

TeashaMae

Touchy subject.

I don't know that I would do anything if they were spanking their child...but to what degree? I feel its not my business and I think more children should be spanked, maybe they would have some respect then...but at what point is it my business and someone needs to speak up for the child that cannot speak up for themselves if they are being abused beyond your basic discipline?

Cooley

yeah, I guess that's more or less what I was trying to say. Well put.

CStyle

It is sad, but the reality is that each of us is responsible to teach others what is ok and what is not ok to do to us. She chooses to stay in that relationship (whether she thinks she has a choice or not) which tells her man that he can treat her that way. The choice for her to accept how he treats her, is up to her, not you or I. It is sad, but such is the world we live in.

Rockerchic

Spanking- no, Beating- yes.

I don't care what size I am, I have intervened on more than one occasion to an obvious abusive situation. NOTHING pisses me off more that people "watching" as another person is being abused (in any fasion)...one time this lady tells me "you really shouldn't get involved, its none of our business" this as a little girl is screaming for someone to help her. So i replied " I'll remember that when I hear your calls for help" Fuckin stupid selfish people.

Mikercw

I would agree that it is "US" who are responsible to teach others "right from wrong".
Its just that some think that their way is the correct way no matter what and those are the people I was referring to. Normal thinking human being will say "oh wow, that's stupid of me to do" while others will go "Hell, i`ll do it anyways".
I don't know if you have ever been witness to an abusive (mentally & physically) relationship, but sometimes NO she cant choose for herself to stay in that relationship. If he got her SO afriad of him, their brains shut off and think nothing of it.
Now i`m not saying this is for all cases, but for the most part the woman still think she loves him and this and that... so that's a bullshit thing we live with in out world

DJ Nathan V

People should spank their children. The disrespect and self-centered kids that are churned out these days are a good showing of that. I had the displeasure of reading about a 14 year old that has managed to get pregnant. Double-U tee eff!? At that age kids should be riding bicycles and falling out of trees, not fucking each other. However, when you take away the respect for age and the requirements for kids to be responsible for their own actions they will do what they want. Kids have no respect for age or wisdom anymore and it shows. When you don't do anything to put respect into the child, they have none and respect nobody, to include themselves.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

CStyle

Mike, I am not arguing with the fact that it is wrong, and a serious atrocity. As I have posted in other threads Domestic Violence and children I have dealt with abuse. Like you said the woman or man thinks they love the other person, and the delusion that the abuser loves them and will change or really doesn't mean to hurt them is overwhelming. When a person lives a certain way for so long it becomes normal to them and the only reality they know. Unfortunately until that person figures it out for themselves there is nothing anyone can do to help them, because they are so delusional.

elaine

Spanking no; not these days. I think it's hard to go up to someone and tell them their being a "bad parent" or that what they're doing isn't right. I usually just stop in my tracks and make sure they know I'm watching them. It usually makes them aware that people are waiting to see what they will do next. It irks me even more when parents use the kid leashes. "They're children, not pets" is what goes through my mind... but even worse when I see the parent yanking on the lease! It makes me want to grab a pair of scissors.

It's hard to tell someone how to discipline their child, especially when they know you yourself don't have kids. For example, I know someone who used to force feed medicine (like cough syrup) down his kids' throats when they were sick. He'd trick them into using a towel or blanket as a "cape" to secure their arms down, then pinch their noses so they'd open their mouth. After witnessing this, I told him that they're afraid to take medicine because of his delivery method and that if he'd only let them take it themselves, then they wouldn't have to fight to get them to take medicine. I got the "What do you know, do YOU have kids!?". Apparently, he tried it the following day, and then told me his kids are no longer afraid to take medicine because they take it themselves. Ha! What do I know about parenting? Psychology!

Qtip

Amen!

Metonymy

Bingo.

I fully subscribe to the "spare the rod, spoil the child" ideaology. If I ever have kids, they will get butt whoopins' as necessary.

But as for parents yelling at their kids? Yeah, they need to get bitch-slapped.

ODiE

Who the hell spanks their kids in public? Spanking is debatable. I probably wont ever spank my kid, but in like a grocery store? WTF. There are other ways to control your kid.

BluesBrad

You leave them be.

Washingtonblonde

Lots of people. I personally don't spank my children but there have been times when they've got a swat on the back end - which MORE than gets their attention.. But I'm fortunate that I have fairly well behaved kids.

Now that my oldest is fast and smart - she's able to dodge my swats. GRRR.. So for her I've developed the slap on the back on the head. She gets the point.

And yes.. I'll do it in public if need be.

Amy Jane

In public, that's almost crossing a line. If i see something and get the impression that it maybe goes further than spanking I will do something about it. Due to my job, I am obligated to report anything that even hints and possible child abuse.

dizzle

what's wrong with a little discpline? Y'all are a bunch of softies.

Clackamas

CPS is involved way to much in parenting... like, beyond what is good for the child.

Metonymy

A good spanking? No issues with it.

Outright child abuse? Yeah, I'd intervene.

cityxslicker

Not my kid, I dont care. But if you go an draw blood, then we have abuse issues and yeah, knock it the hell off.


My nephew informed me that I cant spank him when he misbehaves.
He said in his house mom only gives him time outs.
I sat him down and told him the hell my sister and I went through as kids.
He now knows spanking is getting off light.

MrsD

Driftertank

Sometimes I wish I'd see MORE spankings.

Like the other night at Wally-world, when these 4 kids run over to the security gate in front of the Closed-for-the-night in-store Subway and start hanging on it, pulling on it, and screaming loudly in spanish something that sounds like "I want it mommy!" and mom, who is 20 feet away at a register, is just completely ignoring them.

At the risk of sounding old, cruel, or overly republican, I think one of the biggest problems with kids today is that they never had the connection between misbehavior and painful consequences formed in their minds. My parents were never shy about revoking privileges, time outs, or even - gasp! - spankings. As a result, despite being a "backwoods kid" who grew up shooting guns and playing outside without adult supervision, I never got in trouble doing things like vandalizing property or the like. I understood that doing wrong would eventually get me punished. That - sometimes naive - sense of personal and social responsibility made me rather out-of-place when I became an inner-city kid. Being an outsider with an abnormal (for a city kid) amount of martial knowledge made some people nervous about me in high-school. Hell, I even owned my own GUN, for crying out loud! But I was much more likely to be the kid to get killed trying to stop a potential "Columbine" situation than I was to start one.

Parents who make idle threats at their children, or worse, ignore their misbehavior completely, really get under my skin. Don't get me wrong, I despise child abuse even more, and the line between discipline and abuse is thin and hotly debated. But the way I figure it, if a child is behaving in a way that, as an adult, would be seen as illegal or unethical, it is the parent's responsibility to act as an analog to the society who will someday judge them for it, and form an association in their mind between their behavior and the consequences.

Anyway, rant over. I'll go away now.

Driftertank

My dad was clever. When me and my brother were acting up (as we often were) he would calmly appear to be gently grasping us by the shoulder. In reality, he was applying an impossible-to-ignore pressure to the sensitive hollow of our shoulders just above the collarbone. Basically a covert nerve-pinch that would instantly curtail unruly behavior.

The old people at his church would always remark about how well-behaved we were.

Blu

I am gonna have to remember that one

MrsD

Really you don't rmember the Vulcan shoulder pinch as a kid?? It worked everytime on you and your sister...works on your son too.