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Old 01-08-2010, 03:16 PM   #1
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
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I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

WTF is wrong here?

Better yet, what is wrong with me!! I am the master of NO and FUCK OFF, am I not? Then why is my ex slooowly working his way back into my life

Would any man here ever return a call from a woman who states, verbatim, "this is not healthy for either of us, later dude". This statement made after the breakup and he wanted to remain 'friends'...I don't see this as healthy. If you break up, you break up - period, albeit the involvment of children. Having no choice, I moved on.

I have repeatidly refused help from this guy and he is like a freight train...he is just not stopping. He brings firewood to my house - after I SPECIFICALLY tell him not to, he brought me a XMAS tree after I told him NO 20 times. Now he's making home repairs, after I TOLD him it's my home and MY problem.

Short of punching him in the face this guy won't go away...we all remember this guy right? The guy that broke my heart. Remember, I wasn't the gal for him...ok, then go the fuck away and find your dream girl.

I'm not sure whether to send him to a therapists or a stripper. For you men who are gunna throw the 'are you doing him' card out there...recently I have...but we have been apart for almost a year and for the majority of that year I have done everything short of moving to China to avoid him.

Why would a human behave this way? I see things logically..I totally understand the statment 'your not what I'm looking for', awesome, I'm gunna cry for a few weeks and then say "WHO" when I hear your name.

In the last year I've made some great new male friends, continue on in school, got a new job and have moved on...why is this guy BACK? Better yet, why is his shit in my garage?

I'm just utterly confused. You break up, you move on. You lick your wounds and call it a day. I have told this guy, correct me here LaDena, 40 fucking times that I get it....I''m not the gal for you...why are you calling me?

Is it me? Is it him? what the hell is GOING on!! I need some serious advice from the guys here.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 03:41 PM   #2
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You have told him at least 40 times Dorian I'm as confused as you are. But you still won't give me his number so I can ask him.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 04:40 PM   #3
miss-communicator
 
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I'm a Female
Living in spokane

hmmm, Does he want you physically? emotionally?? Does he see you as a "challenge" now? Has HE ever stated why he's still hanging around after HE told YOU, you weren't the one?? I mean if HE said that, I'm as confused as you....Maybe you needed to chuck one of those pieces of firewood thru his front truck window..
 
Old 01-08-2010, 05:36 PM   #4
PNW Love Member
 
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I'm a Dude
Living in Sequim - Yeah, Baby!

I never stay friends with ex's. I never talk to them again, and we dont swim in the same circles.
If he fails to take a hint, theres dogs, 12 guage and restraining orders

*That clack of a round in the chamber WAS your warning shot.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 05:54 PM   #5
Down the Rabbit Hole
 
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I'm a Gentleman
Living in Washington

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikenut View Post
For you men who are gunna throw the 'are you doing him' card out there...recently I have...
I wasn't going to ask, but that's a problem in and of itself.

Why are you sleeping with someone you want nothing to do with?

Quote:
Why would a human behave this way?
You initially told him to piss off, but now you're slowly letting him back in your life. The sex, letting him leave stuff at your place?

You're a strong woman Dorian. Why not stand behind what you say?

Quote:
I''m not the gal for you...why are you calling me?
People do screw up and it can take them a while to figure it out. I'm not sure if that's what is happening here though.

Quote:
Is it me? Is it him? what the hell is GOING on!! I need some serious advice from the guys here.
My honest opinion?

I think he may have left because of where you were at as individuals at the point in time when you broke up. It wasn't working.

But somewhere within, he knew you were a good person.

You've obviously changed a lot since the ending of your relationship, and maybe he sees you for those changes. Maybe he wants to be a part of your life again.

It's up to you to decide if that's what you want or not.

Until you make that decision however... stop the sex stuff. It is only sending mixed signals and putting you in the state of "WTF" that you're currently in.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 07:08 PM   #6
So Amazingly Happy
 
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I'm a Lady
Living in Lacey, WA

I know for my ex.. UGH.. a.k.a. Pychopath Rob... he still feels an obligation to take care of me.. although I don't know if he'd actually act on any requests. He broke something and I think he will forever feel like he needs to either fix it or just feels that since I'm the mother of his children that I'm his liability.. IDK.

But seriously Dorian.. By sleeping with this guy, you are NOT giving the impression that you don't want him around. Am I wrong??
 
Old 01-08-2010, 08:56 PM   #7
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

Ill plead my 5th... and let everyone else speak for me... ^^^ See above
 
Old 01-09-2010, 08:14 PM   #8
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
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I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
hmmm, Does he want you physically? emotionally?? Does he see you as a "challenge" now? Has HE ever stated why he's still hanging around after HE told YOU, you weren't the one?? I mean if HE said that, I'm as confused as you....Maybe you needed to chuck one of those pieces of firewood thru his front truck window..
lol, I asked...he says he still cares for me...I cant' figure that one out. I am still fond of ex's, it doesn't mean we socialize. We hug when we run into each other and that is the extent of it.
 
Old 01-09-2010, 08:37 PM   #9
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
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I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metonymy View Post
I wasn't going to ask, but that's a problem in and of itself.

Why are you sleeping with someone you want nothing to do with?

Well first of all, I never ever stated I wanted nothing to do with him. What I said is he broke my fucking heart. We were planning on getting married. When the break up occurred I made it quite clear it would be too painful to keep seeing him. An occasional phone call at first was a nice gesture and I kept to my guns. It wasn't that I never wanted to see him again, it was illogical to continue seeing him.


You initially told him to piss off, but now you're slowly letting him back in your life. The sex, letting him leave stuff at your place?

I will try to be brief...dude, I was seriously rude to this guy at first. Not that I want to be rude to anyone but I didn't want him 'doing' things for me. I correlate it to WB's ex wanting to take care of her. That said, it is hard to be rude to someone who is always trying to make life better for you. You come to a time and point I guess of appreciating the help.

You're a strong woman Dorian. Why not stand behind what you say?

I DID!! For months! He just kept helping me out, offering money, offering to work on my rig, etc. I've never taken a dime from the guy although he has offered a thousand times. I don't find it an appropriate response to throw three bags of groceries out in the lawn and call the police on someone trying to help me out. I have made it CRYSTAL clear I appreciate the offers but kindly decline...as I come and find him bringing more wood to me.


People do screw up and it can take them a while to figure it out. I'm not sure if that's what is happening here though.

Niether am I, that is why I am asking for opinions.

My honest opinion?

I think he may have left because of where you were at as individuals at the point in time when you broke up. It wasn't working.

That makes sense


But somewhere within, he knew you were a good person.

I know he cares for me a person, so yea


You've obviously changed a lot since the ending of your relationship, and maybe he sees you for those changes. Maybe he wants to be a part of your life again.

I consider this obvious, but I don't know to what extent. Is it guilt?

It's up to you to decide if that's what you want or not.

I don't know. I honestly don't have time to really deal with the issue right now. I am going into my last year of school and don't need the drama...drama, kind of like this thread

Until you make that decision however... stop the sex stuff. It is only sending mixed signals and putting you in the state of "WTF" that you're currently in.
lol, that's like closing the gate after the cattle have escaped isnt' it My thought process is to try and keep ignoring him...why? Cuz I don't want to sit down and have THE conversation right now, I dont' have the time or energy. He calls me, I don't call him. I know, my bad. I am just being lazy and non confrontational. I have had NUMEROUS conversations months ago about us keeping our distance...I thought he understood. I don't know..I should never have said anything. I guess I started a huge drama thread by thinking out loud. Of course there are things that I have not posted about this...he wants to keep stuff in my garage to minimize his monthly storage cost - in return he is remodeling my bathroom - for free. I am having some housing issues and this needs to be done. Am I using him? Is he using me? Is this whole thing not over? Lets all move on to a happier thread
 
Old 01-09-2010, 09:25 PM   #10
Married and then some.
 
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I don't think this is drama Dorian you asked for opinions and got them. I think you don't want to think about it because your life is very hectic right now. Bottom line you don't want to get your hopes up to be hurt again. So don't think about it, take it for what it is for the time being. One day at a time that's all we really live anyway, is one day at a time and hopefully its a nice day.
 
Old 01-10-2010, 12:03 AM   #11
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
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I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
I don't think this is drama Dorian you asked for opinions and got them. I think you don't want to think about it because your life is very hectic right now. Bottom line you don't want to get your hopes up to be hurt again. So don't think about it, take it for what it is for the time being. One day at a time that's all we really live anyway, is one day at a time and hopefully its a nice day.
Not sure what to say...thanks seem so trivial...and why are you posting after 9. I gave up on homework. You know I like everything organized and neat...I get the funny feeling what is going on is not organzed and neat. pfft/ I didn't think about it..now it's staring me in the face...again. How can you possibly hang with someone who you once loved so dearly, all the while they say your'e not the one..man... the shit storm is coming. . . the storm is a coming. People need to be accountable including myself.
 
Old 01-10-2010, 07:29 AM   #12
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I know you like everything neat and organized planned and detailed no surprises. Take a trip mark on the map the rest stop where your going to pee, a planner you are. Well sweetheart you can't always plan everything. I know you want to know where you stand, what the future holds. Is he staying, is he leaving, at the same time you want him to feel the same pain you felt when he walked. Have you ever heard the phrase let the sleeping Dog lie. If you poke him you might get bit even though he really doesn't want to bite you. I know I have told you this story before but I'm going to repeat it.
When I was 9 months pregnant with Leslie, Duane asked for a divorce. I was devastated he said he would stay for a week after the baby was born to help me out. For a month I was on pins and needles I was as nice to him as I could possibly be in case he would change his mind. She was born and the weeks went by and he never left. I was talking to an Old friend about this, a man who I known since I was a little girl. I felt he was very wise, and maybe he could help me understand. He told me Let the sleeping dog lie. So I did and here we are 26 yrs later and he still hasn't left.
Years later I asked him what changed his mind. He said he thought he was overwhelmed by the responsibility of 2 children and a wife. He said being pregnant made me bitchy. But he hadn't realized chasing a 1 yr old and carrying another child would change me so much. He said he spoke words that weren't true and he didn't know how to undo them, so he just didn't say anything. (sorry would have been nice)
Bottom line... for once in your life just don't organize, be yourself let the cards fall where they may. Think of it as an adventure one where you aren't doing the planning, one where your not responsible. On this adventure your the free spirit, try it you might just like it. Its hard I know but your kids are raised, your doing things for you now. You don't have to plan every minute of every day, you are safe with you. So put the storm on a shelf for awhile and enjoy the day.
 
Old 01-10-2010, 10:24 PM   #13
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
Bikenut's Avatar
 
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
I know you like everything neat and organized planned and detailed no surprises. Take a trip mark on the map the rest stop where your going to pee, a planner you are. Well sweetheart you can't always plan everything. I know you want to know where you stand, what the future holds. Is he staying, is he leaving, at the same time you want him to feel the same pain you felt when he walked. Have you ever heard the phrase let the sleeping Dog lie. If you poke him you might get bit even though he really doesn't want to bite you. I know I have told you this story before but I'm going to repeat it.
When I was 9 months pregnant with Leslie, Duane asked for a divorce. I was devastated he said he would stay for a week after the baby was born to help me out. For a month I was on pins and needles I was as nice to him as I could possibly be in case he would change his mind. She was born and the weeks went by and he never left. I was talking to an Old friend about this, a man who I known since I was a little girl. I felt he was very wise, and maybe he could help me understand. He told me Let the sleeping dog lie. So I did and here we are 26 yrs later and he still hasn't left.
Years later I asked him what changed his mind. He said he thought he was overwhelmed by the responsibility of 2 children and a wife. He said being pregnant made me bitchy. But he hadn't realized chasing a 1 yr old and carrying another child would change me so much. He said he spoke words that weren't true and he didn't know how to undo them, so he just didn't say anything. (sorry would have been nice)
Bottom line... for once in your life just don't organize, be yourself let the cards fall where they may. Think of it as an adventure one where you aren't doing the planning, one where your not responsible. On this adventure your the free spirit, try it you might just like it. Its hard I know but your kids are raised, your doing things for you now. You don't have to plan every minute of every day, you are safe with you. So put the storm on a shelf for awhile and enjoy the day.
You wench...how dare you post personal stuff about me So I like things planned, organized, and well, black and white. This is why I never liked relationships...there are NO rules or organization Things get - you know -emotional

With all my stupd postings I have left out key factors only YOU know...this guy is not out to just hump me...excuse me guys..I am way smarter than that...hate to break the bad news. He loves me...shit..he has never stopped loving me. That said, he has some problems, so do I. I think LaDena can attest to that As MM said, it may all have to do with time and place. I am just tired of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thanks sis...I really needed what you said, I mean that. Oh and I pm'd the number....you figure this shit out...I have assingments
 
Old 01-12-2010, 03:20 AM   #14
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikenut View Post
he has some problems, so do I.
UM.... DUH!?!?! ya think
 
Old 01-12-2010, 07:39 PM   #15
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
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I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

that's just mean asshole...you have had your share of issues also. I know my fault for making mine public.

That really hurt you prick...a feeling I could have done without today.
 
Old 01-12-2010, 08:49 PM   #16
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

All im saying is... Why are you doing this to yourself again...
 
Old 01-13-2010, 03:16 AM   #17
Married and then some.
 
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Living in Crazytown
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Humor is Goofy
Have a Unique fashion style

Because until there's an end there's no beginning.
 
Old 01-13-2010, 09:01 PM   #18
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
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I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
All im saying is... Why are you doing this to yourself again...
I'm trying not too..I just don't know at what point am I being melodramatic and at what point am I not paying enough attention to the situation. He pays $150 a month for storage and has made the offer to remodel my bathroom in exchange for using my garage for storage. This sounded simple enough...he saves over a grand in 10 months and I pay no labor for a new bathroom.

Add to this a night of too much alchohol and bam, I'm confused and feel like I'm back at square one. I know, LD says stop making such a big thing out of it. He stores his shit, I get a bathroom and we remain friends.

Maybe I'm just too sensative to the issue and am making a mountain out of a mole hill....I'm going with LD and just taking it for what it is - nothing.

Hey, how's the gf? Any pics you'd like to share with the group
 
Old 01-13-2010, 09:37 PM   #19
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikenut View Post
.

Hey, how's the gf? Any pics you'd like to share with the group
She is very good... Here are some pics for you missy





And this one just for you....



 
Old 01-13-2010, 09:58 PM   #20
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
Bikenut's Avatar
 
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

post up one more tongue action pic and I'll kick you in the nards...umm I thought we discussed not dating hot girls...how long did it take you to photoshop her in..man, tell me you are dating some hawt girl...you don't deserve that shit man
 
Old 01-13-2010, 10:11 PM   #21
Engineer of the Love Boat
 
Qtip's Avatar
 
I'm a Guy
Living in One in Washington

Wow Mikey I'm impressed
 
Old 01-13-2010, 11:12 PM   #22
Engineer of the Love Boat
 
Qtip's Avatar
 
I'm a Guy
Living in One in Washington



Maybe this will help BN
 
Old 01-13-2010, 11:37 PM   #23
PNW Love Member
 
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I'm a Dude
Living in Sequim - Yeah, Baby!

I know I NEED a sammich
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:29 AM   #24
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikenut View Post
post up one more tongue action pic and I'll kick you in the nards...umm I thought we discussed not dating hot girls...how long did it take you to photoshop her in..man, tell me you are dating some hawt girl...you don't deserve that shit man
oh really?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qtip View Post
Wow Mikey I'm impressed
Thank you sir

Quote:
Originally Posted by cityxslicker View Post
I know I NEED a sammich
Make that two and some motherfukin fruit punch kool-aid
 
Old 01-14-2010, 03:59 AM   #25
Married and then some.
 
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I'm a Female
Living in Crazytown
Looking for Conversation
Humor is Goofy
Have a Unique fashion style

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
She is very good... Here are some pics for you missy





And this one just for you....



Mike.. she is elegant and beautiful very nice.
 
Old 01-14-2010, 02:51 PM   #26
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
Bikenut's Avatar
 
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qtip View Post
Wow Mikey I'm impressed
You? I know the guy...I fucking dumb founded
 
Old 01-14-2010, 02:57 PM   #27
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
Bikenut's Avatar
 
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qtip View Post


Maybe this will help BN
God, that IS hysterical...can you please print about 200 of these up? I would like to leave them on windshields during my jaunt to the loveboat meet and greet. Shit, I need to find meeting places for femininst groups
 
Old 01-14-2010, 04:24 PM   #28
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikenut View Post
You? I know the guy...I fucking dumb founded
hahaha thanks... sadly I know what ya mean
 
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