follow the white rabbit

Ok so my roommate and I have been living together for almost 3 months. She
started dating this guy in May and so far they have broken up 4 or 5 times since
dating. One of the biggest issues is that he comes over to the house and lives with us for 2-3 weeks at a time maybe going back to his parents for the day but coming and staying the night with us. He doesn't pay any bills but every once in a while he will help out with groceries. The last time I talked to my roommate about it I explained to her that groceries do not equal electricity or water and she agreed that we should not have to ask him to go home, but that he should take the initiative and leave. He is a nice guy (for a complete tool) but I am sick of coming home and having him here ALL the time. Our other roommate (let's call him Nate) does not like the boyfriend either. The problem is that she asked if he could move in but she has told me constantly that he is too busy to look for a job because he needs to focus on college. How do I tell her that both Nate and I dislike her boyfriend because he is a tool and a complete mooch without offending her? (I realize that the terms "tool" and "mooch" might be considered offensive in some societies so I won't use them when talking to her)

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We're all mad here

cityxslicker

If he is truly a tool, then dont worry about offending him. Sounds like a passive aggressive lifestyle. Confront him with it. Tell him either he needs to pay rent, or quit spending the nite... and put your roommate on notice that if she cant control her f-tard of a bf, she is on the outs

or be truly passive aggressive about it... wait until a saturday nite, or friday nite when you know he is drinking... and call the cops with his car description and plate.... (chances are he will be drunk and then its off to the races )

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Something pithy, sarcastic and rather opinionated... just waiting for the inspiration.

Qtip

I've run into this situation myself, we informed our roommate that the person they are dating has a 2 night max on their stay with atleast 4 nights passing between the next overnight stay or they start to pay rent. Make sure that the douche can overhear this convo and usually the words pay rent help convince them that 2 nights is plenty

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MrsD

My duaghter had this same problem with her roommate a few years back. She made out a copy of the lease agreement, put a note that said I notice your name is not on here. But if you would like it to be added here's the way it breaks down. Rent...Damage Dep..Elec..Garbage...and your share of the groceries..If you don't want to lease the property you have been dwelling in 5 nights out of the week. Then go home.

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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain-Go Dance

Mikercw

Like they^^^ Said

You, the roommate , and "Nate" are all on the lease... You pay out of pocket expensive.
Dont worrying offending the douche-bag or his feelings, I know its the roommate that you might have to worry.. But expressing your feelings and thoughts in the place of YOUR resident is your right. You shouldn't have to feel like you cant talk to someone thinking that it might hurt their feelings...
Bring it up ASAP with them, sit down, and EXPLAIN..... Not tell.... Explain the reasoning and let them respond... Then give the final say. If she really wants him so bad, have her get a place on her own with him.

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DISCLAIMER: I WILL say or do things you may not like. DO NOT get all butt hurt over it. If you have a problem. SAY SOMETHING
Women want to ask my opinion... But they may never want my answer