MrsD

Remember our Dear MrsD, well shes alive and kicking.

Dear Mrs D,

Not all men easily express feelings out loud. What are other ways that men communicate their feelings to women?

My experience is I live with a quiet man he doesn't express things as verbally as I would like him to sometimes. But his actions speak louder than words. He opens doors, he cooks for me, he rubs my back when it hurts, he tells me I'm a cutie even when I'm not. Men are physical and visual, Women are emotional and physical. Men will show you they love you, women want to hear the words. Anyway those are my thoughts, what do you think crew??

Bikenut

pfft, I lived with a guy who barely said 30 words a day I knew he loved me; he would get mad if he came home and the door was unlocked at night, he checked my oil every 1000 miles, he fixed all the little things around the house, but I'll be damned if the asshole would give me a direct compliment. Oh we would have the usual exchange, luv ya, yea - lov ya too but never an I love you Dorian. Men are just quite like that. It's one of the bullshit things we have to tolerate, kind of like us and our constant yaking

Qtip

That has been the single biggest complaint I've heard at the end of my relationships, "Well you never told me how you felt at all!" I for one am not very verbal, I express my feelings through actions and most of the time they are oblivious to them and the relationship goes downhill. I've tried being more verbal but that never lasts long.

Mikercw

Dear S.....

IF you cant tell from the little things guys do then... like pinch your butt,a smile, a glance... Something of that nature..
Thats how some guys communicate, not all guys can be open and express themselves... So if your going to be in a relationship, you will have to pick up on those.
If they truely love you... You will know... So by knowing that they do care for you with all their hearts... You dont need to hear "I love You" everyday.... its that ONE day he does say it.. and it means that much more. Cause the ones who cant express feel that when they can get the balls to say it... it means that much more

Washingtonblonde

I don't think it's just a guy thing. I've known guys that were very good at verbalizing their feelings. I think in my prior marriage, the term "I love you" was abused. It became an expected thing to say. If ever I ended a phone conversation without saying it, the phone rang instantly with him wanting to hear it. So for me.. I don't really say it much unless it's said to me first in which I will recipricate.. or say a simple "thank you".

Miss Annette

I love it!!!!

N: I'm so in love with you Sarah.

S: Thank you.

lol.

Driftertank

That's funny. Some of these comments remind me of a time in high school I was talking on the phone to a girl I'd had a crush on since I met her. She was a good friend of mine, and we talked a lot. She was kinda venting about some things going on in her life...and I was listening, and just telling her what I thought. I don't even remember what the conversation was about...but I do remember when she said "I love you."

I stopped dead. Like dead-quiet-so-she-thought-I-hung-up-on-her. She said "hello? you still there?" I said I was. She asked if I'd heard her. Told her I did. I was trying to figure out what she meant like that. I figured she just meant as a friend.

GAWD, if I'da known then what I know now!!!! Years later, I realized that the tension, the feelings, had been mutual, if hidden and fearful...and the courage it had taken her to say something like that.....and I pretty much responded like I was blowing her off.

So, here's a toast. To the stupidity of youth; to missed opportunities; and to always knowing and appreciating what those 3 little words mean.



(Sorry for yet ANOTHER pointless anecdote/threadjack....)

Washingtonblonde

Hey now.. we aren't supposed to use names on PNWlove.. it's in the rules.

MrsD

Cheers..to being young and dumb and learning the lessons the hard way. I like your anecdotes, there not to many things on the Love Boat that are pointless so don't be sorry. Do you remember the Seinfeld episode where they talked about saying I Love You and it hanging out there.This reminded me of that

Mikercw

mmmm... young and dumb.... awww yes

Driftertank

Sorry, It's just that sometimes when I relate my experiences, I feel like that cliche stuffy, handlebar-mustachioed old british army officer who always starts off with, "Oh yes, why this reminds me of a time when...(ramble)...of course back then, it was considered normal for chaps to...(blah, blah)..." and next thing you know, the guy he's talking to is fighting off a narcoleptic fit.

So, let me know if any of my tangent tales is causing eye-drooping or eye-rolling.

MrsD

^^ we will and your way more colorful than the person you described.

Vigilante

As I always say... what works for me may not for others, but I try to verbalize my positive thoughts as much as possible. It is not always, "I love you" however. Not that hearing "I love you" ever gets old, it just gets to be somewhat expected and over time may lose some of it's effect. Sometimes I have moments when I am glad my wife picked me and I am happy that she married me. If she is near enough to hear me at the time, I will voice simply that... "I am so happy you married me." While I am thinking that I do in fact love her, more specific and detailed thoughts on why cross my mind more often. She has told me that she likes to hear about these details. It is not that hard to do, and since I place her above most things, it is important to me to fulfill her requests and make my best attempt to make her happy.

I guess I'm whipped... and I'm fine with that.

Driftertank

Yeah....sometimes I have been in a relationship where I get tired of saying "I love you" because it's starting to feel a little worn out. I try to be very specific and appreciative, to never try to take my other for granted. Ironically, some have found this to be creepy, or at least suggestive that I am hiding something. I don't get it. The more open and honest I am, the more some women have seemed to think I have some horrible secret I'm hiding from them. But again, I seem to have had a thing for the damsels in distress. Seems they don't know how to cope with someone who ISN'T lying to them. Meh....

MrsD

Not whipped.. In Love. Every woman likes details not something my husband is good at telling me. So for years I told him all I want for Christmas is a Love letter. He of course wanted to know why, I told him writing comes from the heart and when I'm old I can read it over and over The years went by no letter and I still requested, 3yrs ago on Christmas eve he handed me a piece of paper it was my Love letter. Of course I cried my eyes out, it was beautiful and words I had never heard with my ears I read with my eyes. I framed it and hung it on our bedroom wall I read it everyday. I don't share it with anyone its mine, however our girls did read it. They both thanked there Dad for making Mom so happy and stated we want what you and mom have. Someday we want a Love letter

Bikenut

I really liked reading the respones..I guess I would rather be 'shown' I was truly loved than some asswipe treating me like shit and always saying it.

MrsD

^^^Amen

cityxslicker

Theres a weight set and a punching bag in the garage. If I am on either, it means I am working it out so I dont have to talk to you .
If its more than that, then I am on the bike, so again I dont have to talk to you.
And if you really push me about it, I am out at the gun range, so again I dont have to talk to you.

Whats with all this damn talking?!?!
I suppose that could be why I am single ;) meh.

Trust me, you really dont want to know how I FEEL about it.

Vigilante

I think this way as well, but I also believe that some (maybe most) women need to hear the words from time to time as well. If it is true love niether should be difficult, but I think that for most guys, "showing" is often easier than saying the words for some reason.