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Old 07-25-2009, 03:21 PM   #1
Professional Foole
JohnnyM's Avatar
I'm a Male
Living in Pullman

How you can tell its over...almost humorous...

Here's a list for you:

She's bi-polar and switches from name brand to generic meds.

Suddenly she stops calling, when she used to call several times a day.

Suddenly stops spending the weekend, when she used to always look forward to spending the time together.

She starts complaining about things that either never bothered her before, or she never bothered to mention, but insists she complained about them several times.

She goes to corner-work a race, tells you she'll be back at your house at 7PM that night, then "forgets" to call you because she's partying with the other corner-workers. You find out when you call at 8:30 wondering if she's OK, and she starts telling you how funny this other guy "Chris" is.

Bonus points if she doesn't apologize for making you worry and rides home alone and still her house, not yours.

Extra bonus points if you get a "cheating" vibe, but put it out of your mind as your own paranoia getting the best of you...'cause she's never lied to you before.

The next day, while on the way to corner-work a race, she kisses you good morning and holds your hand all the way there, but then acts like you're annoying her and wants you to keep your distance all day...until the ride home where its back to normal, complete with goodnight kiss.

Being told "I don't know why I'm acting so standoffish and running away, I'm just psycho (as in "Bi-polar") and I need some space to get my head together"...for two months straight. Bonus points for being a good BF and giving her that space.

Being informed she feels that you're "stalking" her because you have the unmitigated gall to stop by once or twice a week for lunch at her work (a cafe')...during lunchtime.

Being told "I have my kid this weekend because his dad forgot he had work training, so I can't go corner-work" after planning on it well in advance.
Being rebuffed after offering several workable options to take him with us.
Canceling the hotel and making plans to stay with friends instead, since its only going to be you.
Then showing up at the track on Saturday to find her car parked in the pits and her tent pitched by the playground...and finding out she arrived late Friday night as you had originally planned.

Her ignoring your phone calls for an explanation of the above until a third party calls her and tells her to "quit acting like a child and take care of this."

When she does finally respond and agrees to a meeting with you, she starts crying and saying: "I don't know why I lied to you...I didn't mean to!", Explaining the trip as "I wanted to prove I could do it myself."

Also, telling you that if you drove over with her, then she wouldn't be "doing it herself", and if she drove over with you, that she would feel you were "judging her driving skills(?)" The whole time, you calmly explain that you're not mad, just disappointed in her. You never raise your voice, nor do you do anything other than look in her eyes and hold her hand. The only physical thing you do is hug her. When you ask "What would you like me to do? Do you want me out of your life?" She responds "I don't know" and "No".

Bonus points for also hearing the phrases "Why aren't you yelling at me?", and "I'm such a child!" in the above situation and letting them slide.

Extra bonus points for believing her story with blind trust.

Extra Extra bonus points for asking "Is there someone else?", having her answer "No!", and believing her, despite now knowing she had cheated on her ex-husband with his best friend while he slept in the next room!

After giving her a few weeks to "sort out her mind" as she asked, you call her on July 3rd and ask if she has plans for the have her respond "Yes, but not with you! Sorry!". When you ask what that means, she replies that she has other again ask if there is someone else, and she says "No, absolutely not."

This is immediately followed by a short conversation about finally seeing her Dr. about some new meds a few weeks earlier, how its improved her mood, and finally the happily delivered phrase "I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I'm much happier without you in my life!"

At this point, you decide to break up with her and tell her you can't handle it anymore, even though you love her very much and would do anything for ends calmly, and mutually agreeable.

One week later, you're at the track to corner-work, and she shows up all cuddly with the crash truck driver, "Chris" (sound familiar?) all hugging, kissing, holding hands, and doing a full-on Jerry Springer-esque make-out session at dinner...

...yeah, thats a hard one to miss. Nevermind.
Old 07-25-2009, 03:48 PM   #2
Married and then some.
MrsD's Avatar
I'm a Female
Living in Crazytown
Looking for Conversation
Humor is Goofy
Have a Unique fashion style

I don't know what to say except I'm sorry.
Old 07-25-2009, 03:51 PM   #3
Crazy B****
SiX's Avatar
I'm a Girl
Living in Moses Lake

The Bitch Lied!!!

That's all..
Old 07-25-2009, 04:01 PM   #4
oK, fine, its COUGAR :P
Panther's Avatar
I'm a Lady
Living in Seattle

Hmmmm, so many of those sound somewhat familiar.
Always the optimist and forgiving one, am I.

Sorry. It sucks!!
Old 07-26-2009, 09:23 AM   #5
Crazy B****
SiX's Avatar
I'm a Girl
Living in Moses Lake

Originally Posted by Panther View Post
Always the optimist and forgiving one, am I.
I'm like that to a point, then I tend to start telling people off.
Old 07-26-2009, 09:56 AM   #6
Sarah's little mermaid
Miss Annette's Avatar
I'm a Lady
Living in Renton, WA
Humor is Dry/Sarcastic
Have a Classic fashion style

Wow. Im really sorry.....
Old 07-26-2009, 10:32 AM   #7
Professional Foole
JohnnyM's Avatar
I'm a Male
Living in Pullman

Yeah, it sucks. Can't fix crazy and all that...and there isn't much I can do about changing who she really is, especially now that I know the "true" person under the foggy haze. Really, more than anything...its disappointing.

Good lord- given my past few relationships I should probably just put out a personal ad titled: "So...who wants to cheat on me next?"

At least I'm not jaded...
Old 07-26-2009, 06:51 PM   #8
Litte Mary Sunshine
Bikenut's Avatar
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

Sorry to hear. I guess it goes back to the saying "when someone shows you who they are, believe them". Glad your not jaded. It serves no purpose. Don't worry, she'll be passed around the race track like a box of cracker jacks like the other pit lizards. Hopefully you can show up one day with a real woman who loves and cares for you on your arm. The best revenge is living well.
Old 07-26-2009, 07:21 PM   #9
So Amazingly Happy
Washingtonblonde's Avatar
I'm a Lady
Living in Lacey, WA

Glad to hear you are not jaded as well. Good of you to be willing to put so much trust into someone.
Old 07-26-2009, 07:56 PM   #10
hopeless romantic
Capt No Gravy's Avatar
I'm a Dude
Living in Burien

I would have ran the first time I noticed a pill! no such thing as yellow flags, they are all camoflaged shades of RED!

lol...I think I may be slightly jaded!
Old 07-26-2009, 09:06 PM   #11
Professional Foole
JohnnyM's Avatar
I'm a Male
Living in Pullman

Wow...maybe a touch!

Yeah, trust is something I give perhaps a bit too freely...but its an inherent trait I picked up from my grandparents who grew up during the depression. Just because someone "seems" a bit off, doesn't mean they are. People fall on hard times, and those are the times they need you the most...
Old 07-26-2009, 09:31 PM   #12
hopeless romantic
Capt No Gravy's Avatar
I'm a Dude
Living in Burien

I agree tons, values are precious, and you should trust, even if you get hurt, because its not fair to anyone else if you no longer trust....same as other traights, like honesty, and loyalty...the problem though it seems is people with those traits are few and far between, I have yet to find a partner that is worthy of my trust, hence your story! Dating sucks and Im tired of sifting through garbage to find a gem....Oh and Im tired of being a (good friend). Im rambling.....your story hit home!

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