PNW Love

Go Back   PNW Love > PNW Love > Relationships

View Poll Results: Move-in before getting Hitched?
Yup, just like test driving before buying 8 44.44%
Nope, only after wedding 2 11.11%
Either or, depends on circumstances 8 44.44%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-26-2009, 04:35 PM   #1
Random Fact Man
 
jjoker's Avatar
 
I'm a Gentleman
Living in Spokane

To Move in, or not to move in, that is the question

Well, I have questions on the moving in thing. I did it once, didn't work out so well... And this is what I pose as a question.

Is it better to move in after getting hitched, or before? Any moving-in will have problems, it's a big step, and it's an adjustment - for everybody. So one can see that it's lot easier to run, if you're not married. Marriage forces bigger compromise, and things to be worked out rather than run away.

Thoughts?
 
Old 04-26-2009, 04:41 PM   #2
Married and then some.
 
MrsD's Avatar
 
I'm a Female
Living in Crazytown
Looking for Conversation
Humor is Goofy
Have a Unique fashion style

For me it was the move in before I had tried it the other way and it was bad very bad. So I wanted to see what I was in for the second time around. We did well for four years then we broke up for about a year. Then we got married that time I told him I'm not just living with you without being married. So your right easier to cut and run without being hitched. But I like to know the lay of the ground before I commit.
 
Old 04-26-2009, 04:54 PM   #3
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
Bikenut's Avatar
 
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

shit, I just answered this Go for it. I personally wouldn't but I'm old and have been around the block several times. It can be a good learning experience for both of you. Just do it with SOME intelligence.

If you expect rainbows and lollipops, bail now.
 
Old 04-26-2009, 05:13 PM   #4
miss-communicator
 
Rockerchic's Avatar
 
I'm a Female
Living in spokane

well i'm for test driving- however i don't know how long one shoud be together before the move in. The last time I cohabitated with a man, i was married. I've "dated" lots- many which were long term and i had even wanted to ask them to move but was to scared and thought I'd scare them away by approaching the subject. Then I was kinda liking the idea of having my own sanctuary. I just havent been there for 2 months. bahha. I run home, grab clothes, and head back out. I've been living out of a suitcase and i'm not all that thrilled about it. But worse than that, i don't want to sleep alone ever again either. So I'm stuck. I know this relationship is long term (permanent even). I do believe a "plan'" is going to be discussed this evening. I just hope i can focus over this stupid throbbing head and runny nose.
 
Old 04-26-2009, 05:43 PM   #5
Random Fact Man
 
jjoker's Avatar
 
I'm a Gentleman
Living in Spokane

^ just don't pop Nyquil, and sleep through the talk.... it sends the wrong commitment message.
 
Old 04-26-2009, 07:07 PM   #6
Litte Mary Sunshine
 
Bikenut's Avatar
 
I'm a Girl
Living in just this of side of hell

RC, no one wants to sleep alone. I'm happy for you. Eight weeks is not along time. Proceed with caution babe.
 
Old 04-26-2009, 07:21 PM   #7
So Amazingly Happy
 
Washingtonblonde's Avatar
 
I'm a Lady
Living in Lacey, WA

I could go either way on this one. Of course I think it's a totally different ball game when you have kids versus no kids.
 
Old 04-26-2009, 10:24 PM   #8
pees standing up
 
Plummy's Avatar
 
I'm a Chicky-poo
Living in a hole

co-habitating = unlimited cuddles
 
Old 04-26-2009, 10:55 PM   #9
PNW Love Member
 
I'm a Dude
Living in somewhere

it inhabitants molesting instead
 
Old 04-27-2009, 09:24 AM   #10
~Messy Baby~
 
TeashaMae's Avatar
 
I'm a Chicky-poo
Living in my own reality....

I've lived with a boyfriend in the past. We moved in together after 6 months of dating. Looking back, we did it out of convienence instead of actually wanting to be around each other all the time. We adjusted well, things seemed to work ok. But in the end it seemed like I just had a roommate.

Would I do this again? Yeah I would, I don't know if I want to get married or not yet, I don't want kids at this point. With that said, not sure why I would get married other than to get a piece of paper.

BUT and a big BUT, I would certainly hold out until I just couldn't stand it anymore. I don't know that there is a time limit on it, but I sure do know that 6 months is cleary not enough time, I don't even know that a year is.

But in the end, it just matters what your heart tells you to do. You and only you know what is best for yourself. I say go for it if that is something you want to do.
 
Old 04-27-2009, 11:42 AM   #11
miss-communicator
 
Rockerchic's Avatar
 
I'm a Female
Living in spokane

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikenut View Post
RC, no one wants to sleep alone. I'm happy for you. Eight weeks is not along time. Proceed with caution babe.
maybe i should be more specific- we've date since last July, took a couple month break (he begged for forgiveness in Jan) and we've been back together since Feb. he does have custody of his 2 boys- which i want to let them know I'm in it for the long haul too, and not going to do any disappearing acts...

and we didn't have the talk, I'm wayyyyy to sick
 
Old 04-27-2009, 02:45 PM   #12
Very Married
 
Vigilante's Avatar
 
I'm a Male
Living in Wenatchee

I believe the privilege of living together is one of the rewards of getting married.
 
Old 04-27-2009, 02:48 PM   #13
Random Fact Man
 
jjoker's Avatar
 
I'm a Gentleman
Living in Spokane

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigilante View Post
one of the rewards of getting married.
or punishments... :-)

Excellent point, however,
 
Old 04-27-2009, 05:11 PM   #14
pees standing up
 
Plummy's Avatar
 
I'm a Chicky-poo
Living in a hole

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
maybe i should be more specific- we've date since last July, took a couple month break (he begged for forgiveness in Jan) and we've been back together since Feb. he does have custody of his 2 boys- which i want to let them know I'm in it for the long haul too, and not going to do any disappearing acts...

and we didn't have the talk, I'm wayyyyy to sick
is this the one that i think it is?

i'd still hold off on moving in with him...
 
Old 04-28-2009, 10:02 AM   #15
Doctor of Love...Ask away
 
Wild Angel's Avatar
 
I'm a Lady
Living in Spokane WA.

I think if your still in MAD love after a year test run the move in together before the BIG DAY...some people can be really diffrent when you dwell in the same space for a long time. Who washed the clothing and shrunk my shirt turned my pants pink and socks blue..who is to wash the dishes when someone else did the cooking..what about kids do you have some that will also share the space..do you have the "right" and "respect" to set rules and limits...Lots of things to adjust before the long haul and if you get hitched then jump on the ship that adds MORE to the adjustment right away.

you test drive a car or bike before buying, you walk and look around a house before buying why do you do those things?? It is a long term investment that will take time and money to get use to.

But everyone has diffrent adjustabilities and this maybe easier for others then most.
 
Old 04-28-2009, 12:28 PM   #16
Sleepnowinthefire
 
Dragonfish's Avatar
 
I'm a Guy
Living in Olympia

I've done it both ways. Preferably, the relationship will come to a point where cohabitation should come naturally, not like some sort of ecosphere experiment.
 
Old 07-08-2009, 12:21 PM   #17
PNW Love Member
 
cityxslicker's Avatar
 
I'm a Dude
Living in Sequim - Yeah, Baby!

I will cross or burn that bridge when I am in it again.
I hope I dont make the same mistakes from last time.
 
Reply

  PNW Love > PNW Love > Relationships

Thread Tools
Display Modes





Facebook @pnwlove RSS


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Copyright © 2008 - 2010 PNW Love. All rights reserved.