Rockerchic

How do you get thru a disagreement? Is your relationship one that you yell and scream names at eachother from across the room? Do one or both of you have the ability to sit and discuss your "feelings"?

I have been in several different relationships. My first was abusive both physically and mentally (highschool + ) Once i realized this wasnt how i was going to spend the rest of my life I finally made the break.
In the next one, he wanted to discuss, and i wanted to scream and yell and call dirty names and attack him.

Its funny, because I've totally learned to be patient and empathetic and discuss issues- to not yell and scream, fight and argue. I'm sooo glad to be teaching this to my SO- who i think is kinda flabergasted and enlightened by this method of communication. Go figure.....

jjoker

Patience and empathy provide issue resolutions, and health to the relationship .....

screaming and yelling makes for better make up sex.

Maybe it's a healthy combo of both....

TeashaMae

I try not to go below the belt when "fighting". Try to stick to the points, try not to get nasty. It seems that it's gotten easier to do as I age.

I always, however, found it really hard to deal with the types that like to walk away and revisit it later. I'd rather just talk it out now and get it over with.

snaps

I'm a lover. Most definitely. I yell and scream and swear in my head, but very rarely does that make it past my lips. I'm working on that whole communication thing though, it doesn't come naturally to me.

jjoker

Lucky you, for me there is a point in an argument where I realize that I am starting to get irrational, and if I walk away right there and then, even for few minutes, I can continue with sticking to points. But if the argument escalates, I am bound to say something that solely meant for victory of the argument, regardless of the cost. It's the point where an argument becomes a competition that I am trying to avoid.

Granted, it's beeen a while since I was in 'the red', but I know it's there, and I am staying away from it :-)

Bikenut

All depends. If I'm just pissed at something dumb you did, I just assure 'em that I do still love them, no matter what.

If you hurt me, emotionally, that's a tough one. Human instict is to protect ourselves. I guess back in the day I was a fighter. Now I just accept facts and do my best to move on. If I don't have any say in it, there is certainly no reason to love and would be wasted energy fighting.

Involve my kids and I WILL go into kill mode.

So I guess it all depends on if I have something to fight for or not.

MrsD

I get very, very quiet and I try to rationalize in my head exactly how important what were fighting over is. About the kids no win just venting. About his toys keep quiet its mostly just talk. He hurt my feelings let me lick my wounds for awhile, I know he will apologize. If its a project like siding the garage or building a fence and hes Mr picky perfectionist and I keep screwing up I usually throw a tool. Now I know this is so very wrong on all levels and I have had the wrath of the tool god come down on me and I know tools are not cheap. But I just can't seem to stop myself I look at it I tell myself NO then somehow it leaves my hand. Then I start laughing usually as I'm trying to run, cuz I know, I be in deep shit now. So I guess I'm both in a weird sort of way but the bottom line is regardless of what the argument is the making up is the best part.

jjoker

I watched 'My super ex-girlfriend' last night after tennis, and Uma reminded me of one of my exes, there was just no reasoning with her...thank god she couldn't throw sharks...I do suspect that she knocked my bike over with her truck, after break up, but not having proof, I just let it go...

Washingtonblonde

I'm a complete lover. Try to avoid conflict at nearly any cost. I STRONGLY believe that when having a disagreement though - to ALWAY leave out the name calling. I really dislike being called a f*cking bitch.

MrsD

^^^the F'n bitch doesn't sit well with me either, my ex from a very long time ago really liked that phrase. But he was a F'n Asshole.

Miss Annette

I don't scream and yell out loud. I scream and yell in my head. I always worry about hurting their feeling or upsetting them so I am always afraid to tell them what is going on in my head or how they are upsetting me.

Then I shut down emotionally. I take the blame and close myself off from them and just tell them what they want to hear.....which is that I am fine and everything is alright. Eventually I work out my frustrations and anger and I become alright.

Dragonfish

Some days I'm Tony Soprano, others Don Juan. Lately it's more like Don Quixote