Strong Women?

TeashaMae · 03-27-2009, 11:59 AM

Do you think it's harder for a women who is strong to find someone to share their life with.

And when I say strong, I don't mean they have bigger guns than you. I mean a women that is independent, takes care of herself with no problems. Doesn't seem to have a need for anything other than companionship?

I know it is a basic need for humans to be needed. But when that is cut to just the emotional and physical level, does it hender the women in finding a mate?

Discuss.

Washingtonblonde · 03-27-2009, 12:40 PM

I'll have to think about this..

CForce · 03-27-2009, 01:01 PM

I prefer strong women. Maybe not so much when I was younger, but now I want someone who has a life of her own and has me in it by choice, rather than needing someone to complete her.

evander · 03-27-2009, 02:07 PM

I LOOOOOVEE Strong independent women. I love a women that WANTS me not NEEDS me. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman. Now does that mean thats the norm for most men? I dont know but I know there are guys out there that love you strong women.

Plummy · 03-27-2009, 02:23 PM

initially finding someone, no. finding someone who understands what evan said with wanting versus needing, yes.

Washingtonblonde · 03-27-2009, 02:38 PM

still thinking..

Heck.. you know what.. I have no idea.. isn't this a question for the men to answer?

I know for me I like a strong, independent MAN.. Don't want to play mom to my SO.

Dragonfish · 03-27-2009, 04:36 PM

Awww Sarah, wouldn't you kiss my ouchy?

MrsD · 03-27-2009, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde

still thinking..

Heck.. you know what.. I have no idea.. isn't this a question for the men to answer?

I know for me I like a strong, independent MAN.. Don't want to play mom to my SO.

I would think they wouldn't want to play Daddy to us. I'm strong and Idependant I didn't get married because I needed someone to take care of me. I can do that just fine myself I'm with my husband because I want to be and he feels the same way. But its more than just emotional and physical hes my friend and I need my friend.

Bikenut · 03-27-2009, 05:47 PM

Men want different things. Finding one to accept a strong woman is no different than finding one that wants to be coddled.

I have married friends where the woman is definatly the driving force.
I also have friends that what the man says' goes - period.

You can't answer this without taking into consideration it is being taken in the context of relationships and what you want out of it.

I don't think it's harder per se to find a man willing to accept those traits.

I think the real question is, will a strong woman allow herself to be in a realtionship.

I find most type A personalty woman have those options for relationships, but won't give up that pride or strength to allow it to happen.

Ya can't float down the river without getting into the damn boat.

MrsD · 03-28-2009, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikenut

I think the real question is, will a strong woman allow herself to be in a realtionship.

I find most type A personalty woman have those options for relationships, but won't give up that pride or strength to allow it to happen.

Ya can't float down the river without getting into the damn boat.

No Comment

Dragonfish · 03-28-2009, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikenut

Ya can't float down the river without getting into the damn boat.

I've floated a few, but they were face down

Washingtonblonde · 03-28-2009, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsD

No Comment

Mikercw · 03-28-2009, 11:43 AM

Nope... I want a weak woman that will do the women things...Home,Cook,Clean, sex slave...

All the finer things in life... Dont want her to think that her head is bigger than mine... Have to keep the pimp hand WAY strong and keep her in check

If you couldnt tell im joking

Bikenut · 03-28-2009, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikercw

Nope... I want a weak woman that will do the women things...Home,Cook,Clean, sex slave...

All the finer things in life... Dont want her to think that her head is bigger than mine... Have to keep the pimp hand WAY strong and keep her in check
If you couldnt tell im joking

On a side note, I find it difficult when men, mainly mine, WANT me to be strong or not. It's like wearing two hats

He does all the 'man' chores and I do all the 'female' chores. But if he forgets to take out the garbage and I say something I get the look like 'your legs aren't broken'. But if someone is bothering me and I'm about ready to chuck a beer stein and launch someone, I get brushed to the side with the 'I'll take care of this little lady' attitude.

I guess I'll just sit here and wait for directions

MrsD · 03-28-2009, 01:26 PM

You mean those directions of why the hell can't you pick that up whats wrong with you? Or don't make any plans this weekend because were going to go cut split and haul 4 cord of wood. Then they want the lady with the bitch boots and cleavage at the end of the day to make them feel better because damn they worked hard

oh and btw whats for dinner

Rockerchic · 03-28-2009, 03:51 PM

i've considered myself a "strong woman"...not necessarily by choice, but by circumstance. I feel that I'm the only one that I can count on in the end- which means I've always took the initiative, not been dependant, I've been a self motivator, just a get er done kinda attitude. Its been hard for me to accept help- not because i think it makes me weak, but because i'm afraid of being let down. Someone saying they're gonna be there help me, only to discover they didn't. In relationships its had both its positives and negatives. I've been told its an attractive quality, but I've also had it create problems with those same relationships. I'm currently trying to find balance. I'm now asking for help- I actually brought it up- "do you want me to ask for help or not?" he said yes, as it makes him feel good to help me out. i mean yeah, i can get shit done on my own, but having someone just help me out cuz they like me and it makes them fee good sure is nice. I would prefer to be a little less "strong". I'm learning, and i kinda like it

MrsD · 03-29-2009, 10:11 AM

I don't think asking for or accepting help makes you any less strong. I think it might make you less stubborn. At least thats what my SO tells me, stop being so stubborn and let me help you. He never says stop being so strong and let me help you. I don't think a man sees helping a woman do something as having any thing to do with strength I think they see it as being Bull headed when we don't ask for help. I think men see strength as how we carry ourselves that we don't melt down at any little crisis and we can work a long side them and not complain. Interesting topic

Rockerchic · 03-29-2009, 10:30 AM

good point- thanks mrsD

Bikenut · 03-29-2009, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsD

You mean those directions of why the hell can't you pick that up whats wrong with you? Or don't make any plans this weekend because were going to go cut split and haul 4 cord of wood. Then they want the lady with the bitch boots and cleavage at the end of the day to make them feel better because damn they worked hard:crackup: oh and btw whats for dinner

yea, that guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsD

I don't think asking for or accepting help makes you any less strong. I think it might make you less stubborn. At least thats what my SO tells me, stop being so stubborn and let me help you. He never says stop being so strong and let me help you. I don't think a man sees helping a woman do something as having any thing to do with strength I think they see it as being Bull headed when we don't ask for help. I think men see strength as how we carry ourselves that we don't melt down at any little crisis and we can work a long side them and not complain. Interesting topic

Holy crap woman, I think you've GOT it!! That totally makes sense to me now. It's like he likes to take care of me, but he does find it a good quality knowing I won't back down off something or take crap off anyone. Excellent point!

MrsD · 03-29-2009, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikenut

yea, that guy

Holy crap woman, I think you've GOT it!! That totally makes sense to me now. It's like he likes to take care of me, but he does find it a good quality knowing I won't back down off something or take crap off anyone. Excellent point!

Why thank you, see I do have moments of brilliance..Notice I said moments

Avboden · 03-30-2009, 12:24 AM

Absolutely harder!

I actually had a pretty in depth conversation with one of my friends about this. She's very independent, strong, outgoing, forward. Yet she's never had a boyfriend or a real relationship, is a virgin and can't stand it.

It's extremely hard to pinpoint why all this is. She's a very attractive girl, but, she's intimidating. She's rather tall so that's part of it but it's everything about her, the "strong" personality traits I guess.

CStyle · 03-30-2009, 08:42 AM

This is interesting.

My wife is a very independent and strong woman. When we first met, her best friend said to me... " If you are intimidated by an independent woman, she is probably not right for you." She had a great career, making great money, owned a brand new BMW, owned her own home, and did what she wanted when see wanted, she was 25.

After getting out of a relationship about 4 months earlier, where the girl literally wanted a daddy...well it felt that way at times...someone to take care of her, and give her all the attention she never got from her addict father, it was quite refreshing to hang out with someone who didn't expect me to do everything for her.

She also had a hard time with men being intimidated by her, plus the fact that she was not attracted to the old men that were not intimidated, so she never really had any long term relationships. She dated a guy while she was in college, he was in the military. He told her that he couldn't understand why she was wasting her time in school, because once they got married, she would be staying home to raise the kids. Lets just say that didn't work out.

I think a lot of men are insecure, and would not feel manly enough or some crap if their s/o made more money than them....Personally the money thing doesn't bother me at all. There were some adjustment periods that were challenging. Like her learning to share her space when we moved in together. Also it is nice to feel wanted and needed. Obviously I knew that she wanted to be with me, because if she didn't want to she wouldn't have been. After we got married I definitely had time where I felt that wanted her to "need" me, and now that we have a child, I get that.....probably more than I want lol...like at 4am when she says I need you to get up with the baby....

shelbyguy · 03-30-2009, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde

still thinking..

Heck.. you know what.. I have no idea.. isn't this a question for the men to answer?

I know for me I like a strong, independent woman.. Don't want to play daddy to my SO.

i agree...

Miss Annette · 03-30-2009, 01:16 PM

I don't know.....but I get told all of the time that part of my problem is that I am way too independent and I give out this vibe of not needing anyone and Men pick up on my vibe and it scares them away etc. Frankly, I think its a load of crap.

evander · 03-30-2009, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

I think its a load of crap.

It is.

However I can differentiate between confidence and bitchiness. Some men can't.

Miss Annette · 03-30-2009, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evander

It is.

However I can differentiate between confidence and bitchiness. Some men can't.

Um....you're not saying I am a bitch are you? lol

Bikenut · 03-30-2009, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

I don't know.....but I get told all of the time that part of my problem is that I am way too independent and I give out this vibe of not needing anyone and Men pick up on my vibe and it scares them away etc. Frankly, I think its a load of crap.

I agree to a point. I think I've stated this before.

Men need to be needed.
Woman want to be wanted.

There is nothing wrong with being strong. But a man doesn't want a woman who can do more pushups than him or build a shed better. Part of a man's makeup is to take care of you. It can be really hard to have dual roles on the woman's part. I did like LD's take on it. A woman who carries herself well and can work beside him.
But they do like us to be foo fooey occasionaly. I think, myself included, blur the idea of being strong and being a woman.

Either way, we got the short end of the stick

Jet City Angel · 03-31-2009, 10:10 AM

Yes, I think a strong woman can find someone to share her life with because I believe there is someone for everyone.

I don't think my personality is all that intimidating, but my 20-year career sure was. For years, dating was very frustrating. I assumed my dating difficulties existed because I was a "strong woman" with a powerful career. I came to learn two things:
(1) The problem wasn't always me. Indeed, it is an insecure man who cannot handle the financial security, intelligence, and wit of a strong woman. You don't want to be with a guy like that anyway. A secure man, however, will want to work with you and value what you bring to the relationship. He's the Dude who can see the Golden Egg for what it is … and damn well appreciate you for it. (I know, 'cuz I got such a Dude).

(2) The problem was sometimes me. A strong woman should ask how she portrays herself to others, especially to available men. Some women believe "strong" means not needing a man at all, so they carry themselves precisely that way. It actually comes off as standoffish. If a woman (or a man, for that matter) wants a special partnership for her life, then why would she not "need" a special man to create and grow in relationship with her? I'm not saying she should take any man, roll over and play dead, but should be open to dropping her tough-as-nails façade and allowing the right guy to see all her true colors.

I agree with the Nut … it's a very blurry line balancing strength with femininity. Some days it sure ain't easy and irritating as hell. But real life and good livin' are all about growth. Strong can mean self-sufficient, independent, and willing to set boundaries, yet still remain feminine in other aspects. The right guy will let you emote, let you be you, call you on your shit, and still love you for it.

Mikercw · 03-31-2009, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikenut

Men need to be needed.
Woman want to be wanted.

Hmmmm....Mikercw ponders

Washingtonblonde · 03-31-2009, 08:10 PM

So how do you know if you are strong or not? What defines strong? I'm independent - earn a living for my family - raise my kids - do not NEED a man in my life - have learned not to take crap from people. Does this make me strong? Because right now I'm not feeling strong. Feeling rather vulnerable today for some reason.

Do all strong women have their weak points - or is this what differentiates the weak from the strong?

Miss Annette · 04-01-2009, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde

So how do you know if you are strong or not? What defines strong? I'm independent - earn a living for my family - raise my kids - do not NEED a man in my life - have learned not to take crap from people. Does this make me strong? Because right now I'm not feeling strong. Feeling rather vulnerable today for some reason.

Do all strong women have their weak points - or is this what differentiates the weak from the strong?

YES, you are a very strong and independent person. It's like having courage. Courage does not mean that you are not afraid. It means that in spite of your fear, you face the danger. Being independent and strong does not mean that you don't feel vulnerable or want someone to lean on....it means that in spite of feeling vulnerable you stand up for yourself and you get the job done. You don't sit around waiting to be taken care of and settle for the first "man" to come along just so you don't have to face this world alone.

It's one of the many things that I love about you and that we have in common. lol

Miss Annette · 04-01-2009, 04:39 AM

Wait......that might explain why we are still alone.......maybe we are too Independent? Nah....we are perfect. Men just suck!!!!

Washingtonblonde · 04-01-2009, 07:22 AM

LOL.. Thanks Annette. I love you too.

DJ Nathan V · 04-01-2009, 07:52 AM

Even a 'strong' woman needs help sometimes...

Someone who can be independent is nice, though. I don't have to rush home all the time to take care of stuff or do things for her.

Wild Angel · 04-02-2009, 08:01 PM

This is so me Mae I am glad you posted the question I am asked all the time "so why are you single", I am a stronge female that has lived on her own since I was 15 I have a daughter who is almost 18 I have a great job I am educated and I LOVE to do everything a man loves to do. I camp, I ride, I hike, I Bike, I work on cars, I FISH you name it Sports I like it...SO MEN are like all interested in that then they hang with you and back away...my answer to why?? should be a mans dream right? NOT they think that is what they would like but it is not MOST men (not all) like the "mommy" at home she does the dishes takes care of the kids and plays the femlae "ROLE" it is the nature of the beast it is the way things role in every animal ways...does it make it right no it can be done both ways...it is just running across the one that loves all of you for who and what you are someone who IS THAT IN TO YOU...I read the book and seen the movie and will live by it!!

Miss Annette · 04-03-2009, 05:14 AM

I decided last night that I am not that strong after all........

MrsD · 04-03-2009, 05:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Angel

MOST men (not all) like the "mommy" at home she does the dishes takes care of the kids and plays the femlae "ROLE" it is the nature of the beast it is the way things role in every animal ways...does it make it right no it can be done both ways...!!

I was 16 when I left my parents house. I'm educated, love both my jobs love camping, fishing, drag racing, bikes, can work on a car, chop wood, buck bales, survive on my own. But I'm also the stay at home mommy, I cook, I clean, I do all the house hold chores. I get up at 4:30am to make lunch and send my SO off to work and I have dinner ready when he gets home. I took care of the kids and I'm a shoulder when he needs one. Why because thats how I show him I love him and respect that he is the head of this family, a role I would not want. He deals with the heart breaking problems, dead animals, delivering news of a dead loved one, he does the down and dirty crappy jobs, hes the one that faces someone messing around on our property, he is my rock and I respect him. Men want to feel needed, women want to feel wanted. The woman is the Hub of a relationship the center that holds everything all together the man encircles that hub and keeps it from falling apart. A man shows a woman he loves her by making love to her and taking care of her keeping her safe. A woman shows a man she loves him by doing what she can to making him feel special and needed and also taking care of him. Am I strong yes, am I independent yes, do I step back and let my man take care of me hell yes. I don't want to wear the pants in this family and he doesn't want to wear the dress. There is no I in team and we are a team. A relationship is not all words, its your actions that count most. You can say I Love You until the cows come home, you can say you are the man and I respect that. But if your actions don't show it, then they are just words.

MrsD · 04-03-2009, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

I decided last night that I am not that strong after all........

Why would you decide that, from what I can tell I think you are.

Miss Annette · 04-03-2009, 06:15 AM

^^^^
Well......when I seem to make the same mistake over and over again, and when it is all said and done I have the hardest time coping and I just want to give up....I don't know. I just don't feel that strong. I know women that just shake it off and have the attitude of "Oh, well." But me.....I just don't shake things off that easily. It seems to hurt more then it should.....does that even make sense?

I just had a really rough night, little sleep combined with no Sarah and facing a realization that I was hoping I was wrong about, it all added up to me coming to the conclusion that I must not be that strong.

MrsD · 04-03-2009, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

^^^^
Well......when I seem to make the same mistake over and over again, and when it is all said and done I have the hardest time coping and I just want to give up....I don't know. I just don't feel that strong. I know women that just shake it off and have the attitude of "Oh, well." But me.....I just don't shake things off that easily. It seems to hurt more then it should.....does that even make sense?

I just had a really rough night, little sleep combined with no Sarah and facing a realization that I was hoping I was wrong about, it all added up to me coming to the conclusion that I must not be that strong.

That is not true we all have our times when we feel weak and vulnerable. It doesn't make us any less strong just compassionate and caring. The women who shake it off and say oh well are keeping there emotions inside thats not a good thing for your body, mind or spirit. It will be OK Miss Annette you will talk to Sarah and she will make you feel better...Big Hug

Miss Annette · 04-03-2009, 06:35 AM

^^^
I am tired of being strong and going through life....surviving. It seems like that is all I have done throughout my life is pick myself up and survive. It would be nice if for once I had a break. Well, I guess that is not entirely true. I have been so LUCKY where my friends are concerned. I don't need one hand to count how many good/close friends I have. However, the friends I do have are beyond amazing and despite how complicated and low my life gets I always thank god for sending them to me. I think they are my guardian angels and I know I would not be who I am today without these people in my life.

HOWEVER, in other parts of my life I just can't seem to catch a break. And there are times when I wonder if maybe this is all my life is meant to be and I should just stop wining and trying to make it better and just accept it. BUT, I have never just rolled over and accepted things. I have alway fought, my entire life I have fought, to improve who I am and to make something in this world. It's just after getting disappointed time and time again I go through phases where I doubt why I bother to continue fighting for something better.

MrsD · 04-03-2009, 06:57 AM

^^ we all get tired of being strong at one point or another sometimes its just easier to sit in the dirt than to pick ourselves up dust our selves off and go on. But eventually we do and we survive but its ok to whine and feel down until we do. Thats how we learn to appreciate the sunshine when it comes back out. Sounds like you are going through a rough test of life, maybe you just need a break from the fight and enjoy being just who you are, seems to me thats a pretty assume woman..

Miss Annette · 04-03-2009, 07:07 AM

Oh...I'm the best. Trust me. lol

Thanks for taking the time to talk to me and cheer me up. I feel a little bit better. I am in NY this week, Sarah is picking me up at the airport tonight, and so Sarah and everybody else is just getting up and functioning on the West Coast. Meanwhile, I have been up for 4 hours already and I am in a board meeting listening to marketing tips while talking to you. lol

Love the power of computers and the internet!!!!

Washingtonblonde · 04-03-2009, 07:13 AM

Annette.. No fear.. 15.5 hours until wine time.. or trashcan time.. or martini time.. or what ever time you want!

P.S. I'm throwing the sheets in the wash so you'll have a nice snuggly bed to greet you!

Miss Annette · 04-03-2009, 07:16 AM

^^^^

Is it any wonder why I love you oh so much!!!! I am counting down the hours!!!!!

Dragonfish · 04-03-2009, 08:35 AM

Well hell, if I can find a woman that wants to do it all that's great, less for me to. Anyway I'm going to retire soon, so she better damn well be self sufficient.

Mikercw · 04-03-2009, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde

P.S. I'm throwing the sheets in the wash so you'll have a nice snuggly bed to greet you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

^^^^

Is it any wonder why I love you oh so much!!!! I am counting down the hours!!!!!

Where my mind went when just reading this......

Bikenut · 04-04-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsD

I was 16 when I left my parents house. I'm educated, love both my jobs love camping, fishing, drag racing, bikes, can work on a car, chop wood, buck bales, survive on my own. But I'm also the stay at home mommy, I cook, I clean, I do all the house hold chores. I get up at 4:30am to make lunch and send my SO off to work and I have dinner ready when he gets home. I took care of the kids and I'm a shoulder when he needs one. Why because thats how I show him I love him and respect that he is the head of this family, a role I would not want. He deals with the heart breaking problems, dead animals, delivering news of a dead loved one, he does the down and dirty crappy jobs, hes the one that faces someone messing around on our property, he is my rock and I respect him. Men want to feel needed, women want to feel wanted. The woman is the Hub of a relationship the center that holds everything all together the man encircles that hub and keeps it from falling apart. A man shows a woman he loves her by making love to her and taking care of her keeping her safe. A woman shows a man she loves him by doing what she can to making him feel special and needed and also taking care of him. Am I strong yes, am I independent yes, do I step back and let my man take care of me hell yes. I don't want to wear the pants in this family and he doesn't want to wear the dress. There is no I in team and we are a team. A relationship is not all words, its your actions that count most. You can say I Love You until the cows come home, you can say you are the man and I respect that. But if your actions don't show it, then they are just words.

Screw Dr. Phil, we have you.

And Miss Annette, part of being strong is knowing when to walk away from a battle or when to retreat and regroup. Part of being strong is knowing when you don't have the tools to win the battle, realizing you can't win it all by yourself or without the right tactics.

I don't know what 'doing the same things over and over again' means, but it sounds like time for a change. I've made some bad choices in my times, and sometimes it took me years of making that choice over and over again to figure it out. Sound like you already have this part figured out

That's half the battle right there

Wild Angel · 04-12-2009, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

^^^
I am tired of being strong and going through life....surviving. It seems like that is all I have done throughout my life is pick myself up and survive.

Then My dear start LIVING LIFE!! there is nothing like living life you find out who you are what you really like to do and how much you love yourself!!...

cityxslicker · 07-08-2009, 11:16 AM

Strong independent gal that knows what she wants is damn sexy. Someone that has her own success going on and has a full life on her own, that I can add to; not someone that needs me to orbit around. Clingy needy shallow low self esteem girls are easy targets for me to avoid.
I like my space. Sometimes for days, weeks on end, doesnt mean I dont love ya, just means I need my damn space. And if I dont call it aint cuz I am playing some game, it just means I aint called, or I am out of cell phone range.

03-27-2009, 11:59 AM	#1
TeashaMae ~Messy Baby~ I'm a Chicky-poo Living in my own reality....	Strong Women? Do you think it's harder for a women who is strong to find someone to share their life with. And when I say strong, I don't mean they have bigger guns than you. I mean a women that is independent, takes care of herself with no problems. Doesn't seem to have a need for anything other than companionship? I know it is a basic need for humans to be needed. But when that is cut to just the emotional and physical level, does it hender the women in finding a mate? Discuss.

03-28-2009, 03:51 PM	#16
Rockerchic miss-communicator I'm a Female Living in spokane Blog Entries: 6	i've considered myself a "strong woman"...not necessarily by choice, but by circumstance. I feel that I'm the only one that I can count on in the end- which means I've always took the initiative, not been dependant, I've been a self motivator, just a get er done kinda attitude. Its been hard for me to accept help- not because i think it makes me weak, but because i'm afraid of being let down. Someone saying they're gonna be there help me, only to discover they didn't. In relationships its had both its positives and negatives. I've been told its an attractive quality, but I've also had it create problems with those same relationships. I'm currently trying to find balance. I'm now asking for help- I actually brought it up- "do you want me to ask for help or not?" he said yes, as it makes him feel good to help me out. i mean yeah, i can get shit done on my own, but having someone just help me out cuz they like me and it makes them fee good sure is nice. I would prefer to be a little less "strong". I'm learning, and i kinda like it Last edited by Rockerchic; 03-28-2009 at 03:56 PM.

03-30-2009, 08:42 AM	#22
CStyle Today I choose Life I'm a Gentleman Living in Marital Bliss... Blog Entries: 2	This is interesting. My wife is a very independent and strong woman. When we first met, her best friend said to me... " If you are intimidated by an independent woman, she is probably not right for you." She had a great career, making great money, owned a brand new BMW, owned her own home, and did what she wanted when see wanted, she was 25. After getting out of a relationship about 4 months earlier, where the girl literally wanted a daddy...well it felt that way at times...someone to take care of her, and give her all the attention she never got from her addict father, it was quite refreshing to hang out with someone who didn't expect me to do everything for her. She also had a hard time with men being intimidated by her, plus the fact that she was not attracted to the old men that were not intimidated, so she never really had any long term relationships. She dated a guy while she was in college, he was in the military. He told her that he couldn't understand why she was wasting her time in school, because once they got married, she would be staying home to raise the kids. Lets just say that didn't work out. I think a lot of men are insecure, and would not feel manly enough or some crap if their s/o made more money than them....Personally the money thing doesn't bother me at all. There were some adjustment periods that were challenging. Like her learning to share her space when we moved in together. Also it is nice to feel wanted and needed. Obviously I knew that she wanted to be with me, because if she didn't want to she wouldn't have been. After we got married I definitely had time where I felt that wanted her to "need" me, and now that we have a child, I get that.....probably more than I want lol...like at 4am when she says I need you to get up with the baby.... Last edited by CStyle; 03-30-2009 at 08:45 AM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

03-27-2009, 12:40 PM	#2
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	I'll have to think about this..

03-27-2009, 01:01 PM	#3
CForce The Force I'm a Guy Living in Seattle Looking for Conversation Interested in Women Humor is Dry/Sarcastic Have a Unique fashion style	I prefer strong women. Maybe not so much when I was younger, but now I want someone who has a life of her own and has me in it by choice, rather than needing someone to complete her.

03-27-2009, 02:07 PM	#4
evander is on lifes journey I'm a Guy Living in Spokane and loving it Looking for Conversation Humor is Raunchy Have a Unique fashion style Blog Entries: 2	I LOOOOOVEE Strong independent women. I love a women that WANTS me not NEEDS me. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman. Now does that mean thats the norm for most men? I dont know but I know there are guys out there that love you strong women.

03-27-2009, 02:23 PM	#5
Plummy pees standing up I'm a Chicky-poo Living in a hole	initially finding someone, no. finding someone who understands what evan said with wanting versus needing, yes.

03-27-2009, 02:38 PM	#6
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	still thinking.. Heck.. you know what.. I have no idea.. isn't this a question for the men to answer? I know for me I like a strong, independent MAN.. Don't want to play mom to my SO.

03-27-2009, 04:36 PM	#7
Dragonfish Sleepnowinthefire I'm a Guy Living in Olympia	Awww Sarah, wouldn't you kiss my ouchy?

03-27-2009, 05:47 PM	#9
Bikenut Litte Mary Sunshine I'm a Girl Living in just this of side of hell	Men want different things. Finding one to accept a strong woman is no different than finding one that wants to be coddled. I have married friends where the woman is definatly the driving force. I also have friends that what the man says' goes - period. You can't answer this without taking into consideration it is being taken in the context of relationships and what you want out of it. I don't think it's harder per se to find a man willing to accept those traits. I think the real question is, will a strong woman allow herself to be in a realtionship. I find most type A personalty woman have those options for relationships, but won't give up that pride or strength to allow it to happen. Ya can't float down the river without getting into the damn boat.

03-28-2009, 11:43 AM	#13
Mikercw I TELL IT LIKE IT IS!!!! I'm a Guy Living in Willy Wonka`s Chocolate Factory- Down The Hall From The Oompa Loompas Looking for Conversation Interested in Women Humor is Dry/Sarcastic Have a Trendy fashion style	Nope... I want a weak woman that will do the women things...Home,Cook,Clean, sex slave... All the finer things in life... Dont want her to think that her head is bigger than mine... Have to keep the pimp hand WAY strong and keep her in check If you couldnt tell im joking

03-28-2009, 01:26 PM	#15
MrsD Married and then some. I'm a Female Living in Crazytown Looking for Conversation Humor is Goofy Have a Unique fashion style Blog Entries: 5	You mean those directions of why the hell can't you pick that up whats wrong with you? Or don't make any plans this weekend because were going to go cut split and haul 4 cord of wood. Then they want the lady with the bitch boots and cleavage at the end of the day to make them feel better because damn they worked hard oh and btw whats for dinner

03-29-2009, 10:11 AM	#17
MrsD Married and then some. I'm a Female Living in Crazytown Looking for Conversation Humor is Goofy Have a Unique fashion style Blog Entries: 5	I don't think asking for or accepting help makes you any less strong. I think it might make you less stubborn. At least thats what my SO tells me, stop being so stubborn and let me help you. He never says stop being so strong and let me help you. I don't think a man sees helping a woman do something as having any thing to do with strength I think they see it as being Bull headed when we don't ask for help. I think men see strength as how we carry ourselves that we don't melt down at any little crisis and we can work a long side them and not complain. Interesting topic

03-29-2009, 10:30 AM	#18
Rockerchic miss-communicator I'm a Female Living in spokane Blog Entries: 6	good point- thanks mrsD

03-30-2009, 12:24 AM	#21
Avboden PNW Love Freshman I'm a Guy Living in Spokane	Absolutely harder! I actually had a pretty in depth conversation with one of my friends about this. She's very independent, strong, outgoing, forward. Yet she's never had a boyfriend or a real relationship, is a virgin and can't stand it. It's extremely hard to pinpoint why all this is. She's a very attractive girl, but, she's intimidating. She's rather tall so that's part of it but it's everything about her, the "strong" personality traits I guess.

03-30-2009, 01:16 PM	#24
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	I don't know.....but I get told all of the time that part of my problem is that I am way too independent and I give out this vibe of not needing anyone and Men pick up on my vibe and it scares them away etc. Frankly, I think its a load of crap.

03-31-2009, 10:10 AM	#28
Jet City Angel MizzUnderstood I'm a Lady Living in Seattle	Yes, I think a strong woman can find someone to share her life with because I believe there is someone for everyone. I don't think my personality is all that intimidating, but my 20-year career sure was. For years, dating was very frustrating. I assumed my dating difficulties existed because I was a "strong woman" with a powerful career. I came to learn two things: (1) The problem wasn't always me. Indeed, it is an insecure man who cannot handle the financial security, intelligence, and wit of a strong woman. You don't want to be with a guy like that anyway. A secure man, however, will want to work with you and value what you bring to the relationship. He's the Dude who can see the Golden Egg for what it is … and damn well appreciate you for it. (I know, 'cuz I got such a Dude). (2) The problem was sometimes me. A strong woman should ask how she portrays herself to others, especially to available men. Some women believe "strong" means not needing a man at all, so they carry themselves precisely that way. It actually comes off as standoffish. If a woman (or a man, for that matter) wants a special partnership for her life, then why would she not "need" a special man to create and grow in relationship with her? I'm not saying she should take any man, roll over and play dead, but should be open to dropping her tough-as-nails façade and allowing the right guy to see all her true colors. I agree with the Nut … it's a very blurry line balancing strength with femininity. Some days it sure ain't easy and irritating as hell. But real life and good livin' are all about growth. Strong can mean self-sufficient, independent, and willing to set boundaries, yet still remain feminine in other aspects. The right guy will let you emote, let you be you, call you on your shit, and still love you for it.

03-31-2009, 08:10 PM	#30
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	So how do you know if you are strong or not? What defines strong? I'm independent - earn a living for my family - raise my kids - do not NEED a man in my life - have learned not to take crap from people. Does this make me strong? Because right now I'm not feeling strong. Feeling rather vulnerable today for some reason. Do all strong women have their weak points - or is this what differentiates the weak from the strong?

04-01-2009, 04:39 AM	#32
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Wait......that might explain why we are still alone.......maybe we are too Independent? Nah....we are perfect. Men just suck!!!!

04-01-2009, 07:22 AM	#33
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	LOL.. Thanks Annette. I love you too.

04-01-2009, 07:52 AM	#34
DJ Nathan V M0DERAT0R I'm a Gentleman Living in Auburn, WA	Even a 'strong' woman needs help sometimes... Someone who can be independent is nice, though. I don't have to rush home all the time to take care of stuff or do things for her.

04-02-2009, 08:01 PM	#35
Wild Angel Doctor of Love...Ask away I'm a Lady Living in Spokane WA.	This is so me Mae I am glad you posted the question I am asked all the time "so why are you single", I am a stronge female that has lived on her own since I was 15 I have a daughter who is almost 18 I have a great job I am educated and I LOVE to do everything a man loves to do. I camp, I ride, I hike, I Bike, I work on cars, I FISH you name it Sports I like it...SO MEN are like all interested in that then they hang with you and back away...my answer to why?? should be a mans dream right? NOT they think that is what they would like but it is not MOST men (not all) like the "mommy" at home she does the dishes takes care of the kids and plays the femlae "ROLE" it is the nature of the beast it is the way things role in every animal ways...does it make it right no it can be done both ways...it is just running across the one that loves all of you for who and what you are someone who IS THAT IN TO YOU...I read the book and seen the movie and will live by it!!

04-03-2009, 05:14 AM	#36
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	I decided last night that I am not that strong after all........

04-03-2009, 06:15 AM	#39
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	^^^^ Well......when I seem to make the same mistake over and over again, and when it is all said and done I have the hardest time coping and I just want to give up....I don't know. I just don't feel that strong. I know women that just shake it off and have the attitude of "Oh, well." But me.....I just don't shake things off that easily. It seems to hurt more then it should.....does that even make sense? I just had a really rough night, little sleep combined with no Sarah and facing a realization that I was hoping I was wrong about, it all added up to me coming to the conclusion that I must not be that strong.

04-03-2009, 06:35 AM	#41
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	^^^ I am tired of being strong and going through life....surviving. It seems like that is all I have done throughout my life is pick myself up and survive. It would be nice if for once I had a break. Well, I guess that is not entirely true. I have been so LUCKY where my friends are concerned. I don't need one hand to count how many good/close friends I have. However, the friends I do have are beyond amazing and despite how complicated and low my life gets I always thank god for sending them to me. I think they are my guardian angels and I know I would not be who I am today without these people in my life. HOWEVER, in other parts of my life I just can't seem to catch a break. And there are times when I wonder if maybe this is all my life is meant to be and I should just stop wining and trying to make it better and just accept it. BUT, I have never just rolled over and accepted things. I have alway fought, my entire life I have fought, to improve who I am and to make something in this world. It's just after getting disappointed time and time again I go through phases where I doubt why I bother to continue fighting for something better.

04-03-2009, 06:57 AM	#42
MrsD Married and then some. I'm a Female Living in Crazytown Looking for Conversation Humor is Goofy Have a Unique fashion style Blog Entries: 5	^^ we all get tired of being strong at one point or another sometimes its just easier to sit in the dirt than to pick ourselves up dust our selves off and go on. But eventually we do and we survive but its ok to whine and feel down until we do. Thats how we learn to appreciate the sunshine when it comes back out. Sounds like you are going through a rough test of life, maybe you just need a break from the fight and enjoy being just who you are, seems to me thats a pretty assume woman..

04-03-2009, 07:07 AM	#43
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Oh...I'm the best. Trust me. lol Thanks for taking the time to talk to me and cheer me up. I feel a little bit better. I am in NY this week, Sarah is picking me up at the airport tonight, and so Sarah and everybody else is just getting up and functioning on the West Coast. Meanwhile, I have been up for 4 hours already and I am in a board meeting listening to marketing tips while talking to you. lol Love the power of computers and the internet!!!!

04-03-2009, 07:13 AM	#44
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Annette.. No fear.. 15.5 hours until wine time.. or trashcan time.. or martini time.. or what ever time you want! P.S. I'm throwing the sheets in the wash so you'll have a nice snuggly bed to greet you!

04-03-2009, 07:16 AM	#45
Miss Annette Sarah's little mermaid I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	^^^^ Is it any wonder why I love you oh so much!!!! I am counting down the hours!!!!!

04-03-2009, 08:35 AM	#46
Dragonfish Sleepnowinthefire I'm a Guy Living in Olympia	Well hell, if I can find a woman that wants to do it all that's great, less for me to. Anyway I'm going to retire soon, so she better damn well be self sufficient.

07-08-2009, 11:16 AM	#50
cityxslicker PNW Love Member I'm a Dude Living in Sequim - Yeah, Baby! Blog Entries: 3	Strong independent gal that knows what she wants is damn sexy. Someone that has her own success going on and has a full life on her own, that I can add to; not someone that needs me to orbit around. Clingy needy shallow low self esteem girls are easy targets for me to avoid. I like my space. Sometimes for days, weeks on end, doesnt mean I dont love ya, just means I need my damn space. And if I dont call it aint cuz I am playing some game, it just means I aint called, or I am out of cell phone range.