Breast Cancer Question

Wild Angel · 01-18-2009, 09:04 PM

Here is a question for the men,

If your S/O found out she had breast cancer and had to have them both or one removed how would you truely feel about that?

I ask this because there is allways a lot of hype on love for the boobies but what if they were lost?

What if you met a lady and dated her for a while and really digged her would it change your mind if you later found out she had no breasts due to cancer?

Maggie Malloy · 01-18-2009, 10:45 PM

A lot of reconstruction is now covered post mastectomy if the removal was for cancerous reasons..
just a thought

CForce · 01-18-2009, 11:19 PM

That's just one of many facets of a woman. I like boobs as much as the next guy, but I've never dated someone for them...

Washingtonblonde · 01-19-2009, 01:02 AM

Wow.. personally if someone dumped me after watching me go through the struggle of cancer simply because I didn't have breasts anymore.... 1. I'd be extremely disappointed in that person and 2. They wouldn't be worth a second thought to me.

I can only imagine.. but I would think after going through something such a cancer that it would put a lot of things into prospective.

CForce · 01-19-2009, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde

Wow.. personally if someone dumped me after watching me go through the struggle of cancer simply because I didn't have breasts anymore.... 1. I'd be extremely disappointed in that person and 2. They wouldn't be worth a second thought to me.

I can only imagine.. but I would think after going through something such a cancer that it would put a lot of things into prospective.

I took the original question to be less about "if you were with someone during treatment, would you stand by them" and more about "how would you feel about dating a women who had lost one or both". Needless to say my answer to the first question differs from my answer to the second =).

Looking back, I see both were asked.

TeashaMae · 01-19-2009, 09:28 AM

I think the depth of the relationship is the key here. If it's someone that I've only dated for the last couple of months...I can almost understand, going thru treatment and then losing what identifies us as women is a rough struggle, one I pray I will never have to experience, but that's some serious stuff to deal with. If the relationship was just casual dating, I wouldn't expect someone to stick around, too much reality.

Now if we were in a relationship....that is a totally different story. But I guess I'm not a dude, so I can't really answer, but I would hope that if I cared enough about them to be in a relationship, then they would care enough about me to stick it out thru probably the hardest time you'll have in your adult life, aside from very few other situations.

If they wanted to bail, there's the door, I don't need you if you can't stick by me.

CForce · 01-19-2009, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeashaMae

I think the depth of the relationship is the key here. If it's someone that I've only dated for the last couple of months...I can almost understand, going thru treatment and then losing what identifies us as women is a rought struggle, one I pray I will never have to experience, but that's some serious stuff to deal with. If the relationship was just casual dating, I wouldn't expect someone to stick around, too much reality.

Now if we were in a relationship....that is a totally different story. But I guess I'm not a dude, so I can't really answer, but I would hope that if I cared enough about them to be in a relationship, then they would care enough about me to stick it out thru probably the hardest time you'll have in your adult life, aside from very few other situations.

If they wanted to bail, there's the door, I don't need you if you can't stick by me.

Nicely written--thats about how I feel as a male. I might or might not stick around for something casual, but if it's a committed relationship I'm going to do my damndest to support my SO.

vivid · 01-19-2009, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeashaMae

If they wanted to bail, there's the door, I don't need you if you can't stick by me.

DJ Nathan V · 01-20-2009, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CForce

That's just one of many facets of a woman. I like boobs as much as the next guy, but I've never dated someone for them...

Boobies are great... but it's what's behind the boobies that really matters.

... and the ass.

Washingtonblonde · 01-20-2009, 06:46 PM

Thank goodness there's no such thing as ass cancer....

...is there??

Washingtonblonde · 01-20-2009, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

hmmmmm.....maybe that is where i fail. I have plenty of boobs but nothibng is behind them.....i will have to think on this.

As for the o\rigional quesrtion......i would break up with him. I would never tell hoim or my family. I would end things and deal with this illness by myself. Why should hie be saddled with my illness? he isn't sick. I had to sit by my grandmothers bed and watxch her slowely die. I wou;ld never put someone through that. NEVER,.

What ever woman. Get over it. People who love you, love you. You can't make us stop just because you don't want to be a burden.

Washingtonblonde · 01-20-2009, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Annette

um...yes i can......and it is not about them stopping loving me but about not putting them throughb morte drama and pain then they need to endure.

How did it make you feel to be there for your grandma during her struggle??

Washingtonblonde · 01-20-2009, 08:19 PM

Sorry you felt that way sweetie. I imagine it meant a lot to her that you were there though.

Washingtonblonde · 01-20-2009, 08:31 PM

Sweetie.. it's not your fault.. Did it ever dawn on you that maybe a little of you comes from her.. maybe she wanted to go when she was alone... you know.. not burden you..

Washingtonblonde · 01-20-2009, 08:52 PM

Wow! TIME OUT!!!!! That is NOT allowed Annette! Roger took his own life. The #1 most selfish act a person can do - EVER!!! He is not worthy of you feeling that way over him. So STOP! I'm DEAD serious!

Bikenut · 01-20-2009, 09:03 PM

Watched this thread for awhile now. Hard to post. My mother had breast cancer. I watched her go thru her mastecomy. I don't post lightly here. I realize the original question was an honest one and I really appreciate bringing to light a pretty huge issue into discussion, I mean that. I hope most of you really get a concept of who I am. To the original question, really? The defining factor of any human is the tolerance and empathy towards others. That is a sentance I need to re-read everyday and do my best to live.

I can't really say what I want to without it looking rude. You all say we can be who we are here right? I'm just being me here, don't look for it again. I would REALLY like to post what i really feel on this post, and yet my lack of whatever fails me...again.

Bikenut · 01-20-2009, 09:16 PM

oh, and Annette. I haven't met you, I don't need to. You are a strong woman who cares for others. You didn't fail your Gma. You went thru a horrific thing. I know of one other pretty strong woman around here that was there for her mother's passing. She turned out to be one of the few woman I really respect. I mean that. She has this bad ass street fighter. And you had NOTHING to do with a man's choice to take his own life. I bet he'd relive his if only you'd start forgiving yourself. One to the toughtest things we can do. He's in a good place. he know's you cared. He'd want you to be happy.

TeashaMae · 01-20-2009, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikenut

oh, and Annette. I haven't met you, I don't need to. You are a strong woman who cares for others. You didn't fail your Gma. You went thru a horrific thing. I know of one other pretty strong woman around here that was there for her mother's passing. She turned out to be one of the few woman I really respect. I mean that. She has this bad ass street fighter. And you had NOTHING to do with a man's choice to take his own life. I bet he'd relive his if only you'd start forgiving yourself. One to the toughtest things we can do. He's in a good place. he know's you cared. He'd want you to be happy.

I <3 You!

Wild Angel · 01-21-2009, 10:47 PM

Well a post to think about. I worked with cancer survivers spent 11 yrs in the medical field sat at many poeples bed sides as they passed on to the next journey of lifes path. I am sorry for those who feel that this journey is a burden but it is not it is a lesson we all must learn from by being there for the family and friends along with straingers for we all face the journey someday. I had a boyfiend that was 20 yrs old he found out he had cancer it was one year into the relationship. I stayed with him cared for him I was only 19 yrs old at the time. He told me something that took my tears away. "Do not cry I will not die from this I will die from a bus running me over before I die from this". He had HOPE and is still alive to this day. We split a while after his treatments were complete.
I hope that all can embrace the paths we chose and those others chose they are by a personal choice and not anyones doing. Some chose the to journey before their time that is all. Not anyones fault or undoings. I know that everyones journey I sat by and watched I have learned so much about life and respect it so much more that when my time comes I will embrace it and learn my last lesson on life.

So on the question it is to bring awareness to the issues people not only females face every second. Someone you know will have some type of cancer...it maybe you..your neighbor your S/O or your pet. HOw will you embrace the newest lesson and learn from it.

Thank you everyone for opening your eyes and thinking about this question and all the answers or comments.

Live...love..and be loved!!

Metonymy · 01-22-2009, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde

Thank goodness there's no such thing as ass cancer....

...is there??

Colon cancer.

But no, there's no actual "buttocks" cancer that has been discovered as of yet.

But a big

to Maggie's comment. Nearly all insurance now allows for breast augmentation surgery as the result of breast cancer. It's a dignified way to allow a lady to regain some of her "womanhood".

vitdet · 02-10-2009, 02:14 PM

an idea from a brand new guy is if im in love with her, i will stay with her ! i love their personality than their boobies

MrsD · 02-11-2009, 06:23 AM

My Grandmother had breast cancer lost one breast to it and half of the other. I was with her in the hospital and with her at her doc visits nothing quite prepared me for what I saw. I wondered then how it would affect her as a woman reconstrutive surgery was for cosmetic purposes insurance didn't cover it and it was very expensive. The ones that did have it well lets just say they could have done a better job. My grandmother and I were very close and could talk about anything, so I asked her what my grandfathers reaction was. She smiled her eyes filled with tears and said he said I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. When she asked him about the missing breast he said, to him they were something that was going to kill her so he was glad they were gone. I will always remeber that and the respect I felt for my grandfather that indeed he was a gentleman and he truly loved my grandmother.

01-19-2009, 09:28 AM	#6
TeashaMae ~Messy Baby~ I'm a Chicky-poo Living in my own reality....	I think the depth of the relationship is the key here. If it's someone that I've only dated for the last couple of months...I can almost understand, going thru treatment and then losing what identifies us as women is a rough struggle, one I pray I will never have to experience, but that's some serious stuff to deal with. If the relationship was just casual dating, I wouldn't expect someone to stick around, too much reality. Now if we were in a relationship....that is a totally different story. But I guess I'm not a dude, so I can't really answer, but I would hope that if I cared enough about them to be in a relationship, then they would care enough about me to stick it out thru probably the hardest time you'll have in your adult life, aside from very few other situations. If they wanted to bail, there's the door, I don't need you if you can't stick by me. Last edited by TeashaMae; 01-19-2009 at 09:33 AM. Reason: I can't spell....

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

01-18-2009, 09:04 PM	#1
Wild Angel Doctor of Love...Ask away I'm a Lady Living in Spokane WA.	Breast Cancer Question Here is a question for the men, If your S/O found out she had breast cancer and had to have them both or one removed how would you truely feel about that? I ask this because there is allways a lot of hype on love for the boobies but what if they were lost? What if you met a lady and dated her for a while and really digged her would it change your mind if you later found out she had no breasts due to cancer?

01-18-2009, 10:45 PM	#2
Maggie Malloy Crazy Cat Lady I'm a Lady Living in Seatown	A lot of reconstruction is now covered post mastectomy if the removal was for cancerous reasons.. just a thought

01-18-2009, 11:19 PM	#3
CForce The Force I'm a Guy Living in Seattle Looking for Conversation Interested in Women Humor is Dry/Sarcastic Have a Unique fashion style	That's just one of many facets of a woman. I like boobs as much as the next guy, but I've never dated someone for them...

01-19-2009, 01:02 AM	#4
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Wow.. personally if someone dumped me after watching me go through the struggle of cancer simply because I didn't have breasts anymore.... 1. I'd be extremely disappointed in that person and 2. They wouldn't be worth a second thought to me. I can only imagine.. but I would think after going through something such a cancer that it would put a lot of things into prospective.

01-20-2009, 06:46 PM	#10
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Thank goodness there's no such thing as ass cancer.... ...is there??

01-20-2009, 08:19 PM	#13
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Sorry you felt that way sweetie. I imagine it meant a lot to her that you were there though.

01-20-2009, 08:31 PM	#14
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Sweetie.. it's not your fault.. Did it ever dawn on you that maybe a little of you comes from her.. maybe she wanted to go when she was alone... you know.. not burden you..

01-20-2009, 08:52 PM	#15
Washingtonblonde So Amazingly Happy I'm a Lady Living in Lacey, WA	Wow! TIME OUT!!!!! That is NOT allowed Annette! Roger took his own life. The #1 most selfish act a person can do - EVER!!! He is not worthy of you feeling that way over him. So STOP! I'm DEAD serious!

01-20-2009, 09:03 PM	#16
Bikenut Litte Mary Sunshine I'm a Girl Living in just this of side of hell	Watched this thread for awhile now. Hard to post. My mother had breast cancer. I watched her go thru her mastecomy. I don't post lightly here. I realize the original question was an honest one and I really appreciate bringing to light a pretty huge issue into discussion, I mean that. I hope most of you really get a concept of who I am. To the original question, really? The defining factor of any human is the tolerance and empathy towards others. That is a sentance I need to re-read everyday and do my best to live. I can't really say what I want to without it looking rude. You all say we can be who we are here right? I'm just being me here, don't look for it again. I would REALLY like to post what i really feel on this post, and yet my lack of whatever fails me...again.

01-20-2009, 09:16 PM	#17
Bikenut Litte Mary Sunshine I'm a Girl Living in just this of side of hell	oh, and Annette. I haven't met you, I don't need to. You are a strong woman who cares for others. You didn't fail your Gma. You went thru a horrific thing. I know of one other pretty strong woman around here that was there for her mother's passing. She turned out to be one of the few woman I really respect. I mean that. She has this bad ass street fighter. And you had NOTHING to do with a man's choice to take his own life. I bet he'd relive his if only you'd start forgiving yourself. One to the toughtest things we can do. He's in a good place. he know's you cared. He'd want you to be happy.

01-21-2009, 10:47 PM	#19
Wild Angel Doctor of Love...Ask away I'm a Lady Living in Spokane WA.	Well a post to think about. I worked with cancer survivers spent 11 yrs in the medical field sat at many poeples bed sides as they passed on to the next journey of lifes path. I am sorry for those who feel that this journey is a burden but it is not it is a lesson we all must learn from by being there for the family and friends along with straingers for we all face the journey someday. I had a boyfiend that was 20 yrs old he found out he had cancer it was one year into the relationship. I stayed with him cared for him I was only 19 yrs old at the time. He told me something that took my tears away. "Do not cry I will not die from this I will die from a bus running me over before I die from this". He had HOPE and is still alive to this day. We split a while after his treatments were complete. I hope that all can embrace the paths we chose and those others chose they are by a personal choice and not anyones doing. Some chose the to journey before their time that is all. Not anyones fault or undoings. I know that everyones journey I sat by and watched I have learned so much about life and respect it so much more that when my time comes I will embrace it and learn my last lesson on life. So on the question it is to bring awareness to the issues people not only females face every second. Someone you know will have some type of cancer...it maybe you..your neighbor your S/O or your pet. HOw will you embrace the newest lesson and learn from it. Thank you everyone for opening your eyes and thinking about this question and all the answers or comments. Live...love..and be loved!!

02-10-2009, 02:14 PM	#21
vitdet Newbie I'm a Male Living in oak harbor, wa	an idea from a brand new guy is if im in love with her, i will stay with her ! i love their personality than their boobies

02-11-2009, 06:23 AM	#22
MrsD Married and then some. I'm a Female Living in Crazytown Looking for Conversation Humor is Goofy Have a Unique fashion style Blog Entries: 5	My Grandmother had breast cancer lost one breast to it and half of the other. I was with her in the hospital and with her at her doc visits nothing quite prepared me for what I saw. I wondered then how it would affect her as a woman reconstrutive surgery was for cosmetic purposes insurance didn't cover it and it was very expensive. The ones that did have it well lets just say they could have done a better job. My grandmother and I were very close and could talk about anything, so I asked her what my grandfathers reaction was. She smiled her eyes filled with tears and said he said I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. When she asked him about the missing breast he said, to him they were something that was going to kill her so he was glad they were gone. I will always remeber that and the respect I felt for my grandfather that indeed he was a gentleman and he truly loved my grandmother.