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Old 01-14-2009, 08:42 AM   #1
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Living in Marital Bliss...

Things you don't say to your s/o

Ok, so through many years of trial and tribulation I have learned that there are quite a few things you never say to you s/o. Well I had one of those moments last night where I said something (i should not have) and immediately had that oh shit feeling. Story -

My wife and I got into a little argument on Sunday, basically I was tired and grumpy, kinda being an ass. She told me that if I kept being a dick after we had sex, that she would not have sex with me any more. I responded that if she wouldn't have sex with me I'm sure someone else would. Now I know that this was pretty mean to say, but I have always been very clear with her that sex is very, very important to me. So last night we were talking about this, she asked me why I said that I would sleep with someone else. I told her that I only made the comment because she threatened to never have sex with me again, and there is no way in hell that I would go the rest of my life without sex. Then she asked if I thought about having sex with other people, I responded, well I am a guy. (here is the oh crap moment)

Personally, I think it is unrealistic to think that any guy married or not does not think about sex with other woman. What my question is, do women think like men. Honestly me and my buddies talk about sex all the time, whether it is with our wives or the hot neighbor that we fantasize about. Honestly, am I just a douche bag?

Anyway I think I patched things up, but damn I hate when I say the first thing that comes to my head.
 
Old 01-14-2009, 09:08 AM   #2
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personally, i don't think about someone else when i'm with a guy. if i'm thinking of someone else and then open my eyes to see someone completely different, that could easily kill off my mood in less than a second.

i also don't want someone else's name slipping out of my mouth while he's poking away down there. unless he knows i have a thing for <insert name blurted out here> but that'd still be pretty weird.

in contrast, if my guy IS thinking of someone else while having sex, i'd like to know who just for curiosity and not to hold it against them for a later argument. i'm just happy to have someone put his arms around me at night.
 
Old 01-14-2009, 09:12 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CStyle View Post
Ok, so through many years of trial and tribulation I have learned that there are quite a few things you never say to you s/o. Well I had one of those moments last night where I said something (i should not have) and immediately had that oh shit feeling. Story -

My wife and I got into a little argument on Sunday, basically I was tired and grumpy, kinda being an ass. She told me that if I kept being a dick after we had sex, that she would not have sex with me any more. I responded that if she wouldn't have sex with me I'm sure someone else would. Now I know that this was pretty mean to say, but I have always been very clear with her that sex is very, very important to me. So last night we were talking about this, she asked me why I said that I would sleep with someone else. I told her that I only made the comment because she threatened to never have sex with me again, and there is no way in hell that I would go the rest of my life without sex. Then she asked if I thought about having sex with other people, I responded, well I am a guy. (here is the oh crap moment)

Personally, I think it is unrealistic to think that any guy married or not does not think about sex with other woman. What my question is, do women think like men. Honestly me and my buddies talk about sex all the time, whether it is with our wives or the hot neighbor that we fantasize about. Honestly, am I just a douche bag?

Anyway I think I patched things up, but damn I hate when I say the first thing that comes to my head.

I think she is the one that should be re-evaluating the situation and what was said. She is in violation of first rule...never use sex as a leverage tool.
 
Old 01-14-2009, 10:37 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plummy View Post
personally, i don't think about someone else when i'm with a guy. if i'm thinking of someone else and then open my eyes to see someone completely different, that could easily kill off my mood in less than a second.

i also don't want someone else's name slipping out of my mouth while he's poking away down there. unless he knows i have a thing for <insert name blurted out here> but that'd still be pretty weird.

in contrast, if my guy IS thinking of someone else while having sex, i'd like to know who just for curiosity and not to hold it against them for a later argument. i'm just happy to have someone put his arms around me at night.
You bring up a great point, perhaps we are miscommunicating with each other. I thought she was asking the question - "Do I ever think about having sex with other women?" You took it as - do I think about other women while we are having sex, perhaps this is what she was asking. The answer is NO, I do not think about other women while we are in the act.

Quote:
Originally Posted by recr8ton View Post
I think she is the one that should be re-evaluating the situation and what was said. She is in violation of first rule...never use sex as a leverage tool.
That is kinda what I was thinking, but then again I can be pretty callous at times.
 
Old 01-14-2009, 12:08 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CStyle View Post
You bring up a great point, perhaps we are miscommunicating with each other. I thought she was asking the question - "Do I ever think about having sex with other women?" You took it as - do I think about other women while we are having sex, perhaps this is what she was asking. The answer is NO, I do not think about other women while we are in the act.
well, i saw it both ways. i know girls and guys both think about sleeping with other people, however women have that uncanny ability to misinterpret everything into something far worse than you could ever imagine.

and then we get mad at you and you have no idea why.
 
Old 01-14-2009, 12:23 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by recr8ton View Post
I think she is the one that should be re-evaluating the situation and what was said. She is in violation of first rule...never use sex as a leverage tool.
 
Old 01-14-2009, 12:47 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by recr8ton View Post
I think she is the one that should be re-evaluating the situation and what was said. She is in violation of first rule...never use sex as a leverage tool.
I agree 110%!!!!! I would NEVER use sex as a bargaining tool and I would be pissed off if my SO ever thought to use sex as a way to get what he wanted. That is one area that in my opinion is off limits. To me that's like using the word LOVE as a way to get what I want. No way in hell!!!
 
Old 01-14-2009, 01:11 PM   #8
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i might "fantasize" about someone, but absolutely NOT when i'm with my partner......

And NEVER have I threatend or used sex as a bargaining tool-

I'm sure all of us have had the urge to shove our foot (or feet in my case) in our mouths a time or two, its whether u repeat the offense or learn from it that counts i think and whether permanant damage resulted from the incident
 
Old 01-14-2009, 04:40 PM   #9
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[QUOTE=CStyle;11680]
Personally, I think it is unrealistic to think that any guy married or not does not think about sex with other woman. What my question is, do women think like men. Honestly me and my buddies talk about sex all the time, whether it is with our wives or the hot neighbor that we fantasize about. Honestly, am I just a douche bag?

QUOTE]

No, most woman don't think like men. Thank god, I don't want to see my man watching Dr. Phil pondering how come Oprah gained all her weight back. As far as woman thinking about sex, don't be fooled grasshopper. Woman think about it JUST as much as men, but since society has drilled it into their heads to be prim and proper, they stifle it. My man likes it that I can keep up with the man talk in the garage. Granted, when we go out, I can actually be as feminine as anyone else, but he likes it when we can drive by some chick and I scream out the window, NICE RACK!!

Oh, sorry bout the fight. It happens. We say things to our So's that we'd never say to anyone else. But the make sex can be great
 
Old 01-14-2009, 07:37 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bikenut View Post
oh, sorry bout the fight. It happens. We say things to our so's that we'd never say to anyone else. But the make sex can be great
amen to that
 
Old 01-14-2009, 07:47 PM   #11
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so wait...

guys can cut a girl off but a girl can't cut a guy off?

wtf??

*searches for nunery application*
 
Old 01-14-2009, 11:52 PM   #12
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I have to personaly say I never think about sex with anyone else when I am in a relationship. The one I am with is all I think about girls look at guys but like wow how hot he maybe but thinking about what he would be like in bed does not cross my mind. I think that if you let your mind wounder off like that onto another female then you lose the spice you want with your wife. So think about sex and all the things you could do with HER (your wife) and then you keep the spark and fire alive for her. iF YOU SEND THE MIND AND FIRE TO SOMEONE ELSE WHOM YOU WILL NEVER HAVE YOU LOSE THE FIRE FOR THE ONE YOU SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE IT FOR. So think of your wife and how hot she is and how lucky you are to have her in arms reach every night and morning. because if you don't someone else may and that will drive you guys away from eachother!
 
Old 01-14-2009, 11:59 PM   #13
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Its sad how everything comes down to sex.....



Seriously its what runs a relationship these days... not love,companionship,loyalty,friendship...etc etc
 
Old 01-15-2009, 05:58 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CStyle View Post
Ok, so through many years of trial and tribulation I have learned that there are quite a few things you never say to you s/o. Well I had one of those moments last night where I said something (i should not have) and immediately had that oh shit feeling. Story -

My wife and I got into a little argument on Sunday, basically I was tired and grumpy, kinda being an ass. She told me that if I kept being a dick after we had sex, that she would not have sex with me any more. I responded that if she wouldn't have sex with me I'm sure someone else would. Now I know that this was pretty mean to say, but I have always been very clear with her that sex is very, very important to me. So last night we were talking about this, she asked me why I said that I would sleep with someone else. I told her that I only made the comment because she threatened to never have sex with me again, and there is no way in hell that I would go the rest of my life without sex. Then she asked if I thought about having sex with other people, I responded, well I am a guy. (here is the oh crap moment)

Personally, I think it is unrealistic to think that any guy married or not does not think about sex with other woman. What my question is, do women think like men. Honestly me and my buddies talk about sex all the time, whether it is with our wives or the hot neighbor that we fantasize about. Honestly, am I just a douche bag?

Anyway I think I patched things up, but damn I hate when I say the first thing that comes to my head.
Me personally I think about sex a lot with my husband, I think everyone fantasizes its when they lust after someone else that theres a problem. Do I talk about sex with my friends all the time ummm no. I like the don't kiss and tell policy If I thought my hubby thought about having sex with other women it would bother me because I want to think I'm the only one he wants to be with. Also that I don't have to worry about him looking for sex somewhere else. Which brings up this rule: never ever say I'm never having sex with you again or your response will be I will find someone who will. I see it as a bad comment and a normal response, so in that light No your not a douche bag your just a normal male Glad you kissed and made up.
 
Old 01-15-2009, 07:42 AM   #15
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The first question that comes to mind.. You were grumpy and being an ass - but she was still going to have sex with you? I'm not sure if it's just me here, but that sounds kind of strange. I know for me I'd have a hard time getting 'excited' to have sex with someone that isn't passionate and loving towards me.

I will throw out this little 'caution' now.. in my marriage sex was VERY important to my spouse as well.. and eventually it ruined the marriage. Long story here that I'd share with you personally but not on the forum. Just make sure you are having sex for the right reasons and also that it is ALWAYS enjoyable and special for your wife. Personally, for me, the minute that sex turns into a 'chore' is the minute I'll lose that "fire" for that person.

For the other part.. Yeah, what you said wasn't very nice. I can't speak for ALL women but I know for me, I can tend to get a little insecure. Hearing a comment such as that would only add to that insecurity.

And no.. I don't think like a guy. When I'm with someone (relationship OR sexually) I do not thing of other men in that fashion. And if I did, that would be an indicator that something isn't working for me in the relationship.
 
Old 01-15-2009, 08:22 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
I see it as a bad comment and a normal response, so in that light No your not a douche bag your just a normal male Glad you kissed and made up.
Thanks MrsD I appreciate your insight. I am also glad that we made up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde View Post
The first question that comes to mind.. You were grumpy and being an ass - but she was still going to have sex with you? I'm not sure if it's just me here, but that sounds kind of strange.
No this was the morning after we had sex, that I was grumpy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde View Post
For the other part.. Yeah, what you said wasn't very nice. I can't speak for ALL women but I know for me, I can tend to get a little insecure. Hearing a comment such as that would only add to that insecurity.
This is the reason I titled the thread "things you never say to your s/o". While I am certain that this would not bother some women, most, if not all that I have ever been with would feel the same way as you wb.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
Its sad how everything comes down to sex.....
Seriously its what runs a relationship these days... not love,companionship,loyalty,friendship...etc etc
I would just like to say that for me personally - sex is in no way the most important part of my relationship with my wife, but it is definitely important. My wife and I dated for about 3 or 4 months before we had sex, we got engaged after about a year of dating. When I asked her father for permission to marry her, he asked that we not have sex till we were married. We did not have sex for 10 months until we were married. We also did not live together until we were married. Yes this did create some interesting situations when we did move into together, but it was good for us. The bottom line for me is that I try to be open and honest and you know what, sex is important. I think a healthy sexual relationship is a result of having love, trust, loyalty, and friendship with your s/o.
 
Old 01-15-2009, 05:32 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
Me personally I think about sex a lot with my husband, Do I talk about sex with my friends all the time ummm no. .

my eyes, my eyes. shit woman, your traumatizing me...remember, I STAY at your house. You think I will be able to sleep now thinking your doing the nasty

[QUOTE=Washingtonblonde;11722]Personally, for me, the minute that sex turns into a 'chore' is the minute I'll lose that "fire" for that person.

QUOTE]

Granted, sex is not a chore, but I'm willing to take one for the team
 
Old 01-15-2009, 08:10 PM   #18
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[QUOTE=Bikenut;11736]my eyes, my eyes. shit woman, your traumatizing me...remember, I STAY at your house. You think I will be able to sleep now thinking your doing the nasty

Quote:
Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde View Post
Personally, for me, the minute that sex turns into a 'chore' is the minute I'll lose that "fire" for that person.

QUOTE]

Granted, sex is not a chore, but I'm willing to take one for the team
I promise to always not have sex when your staying here. How could I, you and I are up until 4am trying not to wake him up, which we are very bad at btw
 
Old 07-08-2009, 12:50 PM   #19
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Wasnt this a Friends episode? Where they had their list of no reprusions list. I think Marisa Tomei was on Ross's list.....

Use sex as a weapon, and you can fully expect to have it tossed right back at ya, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and to the detriment of what you thought you were doing.
 
Old 09-13-2009, 01:25 PM   #20
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I know this is an old thread but I'm bored at work and want to throw my .02 in.

First off, I would imagine that you are "being a dick" the morning after sex, which in that case it's both your bad for being a dick (yes I understand that we all get cranky) and hers for not using that knowledge to just let you be until you get in a better mood and THEN bring the subject up.

Second, she was way outta line for trying to use sex as tool, and you my friend offered the correct and truthful response. No matter what you think it's only a matter of time after she starts witholding sex that you do go somewhere else. Why you may not think it now, it would happen.

Third, when she asked if you ever thought about other women. Unless she's a moron which I highly doubt because you don't give me the impression that you suffer fools. Then she knew the answer was yes, but what she was most likely looking for was reassurance about your feelings for her and probably expected a little white lie. I for one think you did the right thing in saying yes, since you are supposed to be able to be honest with your partner. Could you have used a little more tact, obviously.

For some reason this question spun me up just for the simple fact is I can't stand when women ask a question and then get pissed, butthurt, and then make your life a living hell when they don't like the answer. Yes you are allowed to get pissed but you should always be prepared to not get the answer you want.
 
Old 09-25-2009, 02:52 PM   #21
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Do you really want the answer or do you just want to go away mad now and assume the worse?

It gets me out of alot of stupid open ended questions that have no 'right' answer to them.
I am a bit of a prig when I want to be
 
Old 10-02-2009, 11:20 AM   #22
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Here's something you shouldn't say to your wife/gf...

"Don't make me get out my can of bitch spray..."



Although after reading the can slogan, maybe some gals wouldn't mind keeping the "dogs" at bay... hmm.
 
Old 12-24-2009, 10:39 AM   #23
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Those jeans are fillin out nicely (its a loaded compliment; be very careful how you drop it)
 
Old 12-24-2009, 02:47 PM   #24
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"Wow you have gained some weight"
 
Old 12-24-2009, 06:06 PM   #25
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Do these jeans make me look fat???.....


No hun, your ass and hips make the jeans look fat.....
 
Old 12-25-2009, 05:23 AM   #26
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You know your answer depends on if you have sex or not right. The right answer gets you laid the wrong answer gets you BITCH.
 
Old 12-25-2009, 05:26 AM   #27
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Well..... I dont know about that.....


Both the answers got me laid last night.... I was asked my opinion and well I gave it
 
Old 12-25-2009, 05:29 AM   #28
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Really how did you deliver the answer. Because with your puppy dog eyes you could say it looks like crap, but your eyes say and I want you anyway....
 
Old 12-25-2009, 05:33 AM   #29
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Was asked about different clothes... and well I gave YES, No, and um yeah dont think so...


And I got... "Thank you for your honest opinions"

Puppy dogs eyes.... I know nothing of that =p
 
Old 12-25-2009, 05:39 AM   #30
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Well when we are asking about different clothes we want an honest opinion..but when we spend 2hrs getting ready (like I did yesterday) and we get you look nice its disappointing. Look Nice? Then he says no I meant your look Verrrrrrrry nice. Much better.
 
Old 12-25-2009, 05:40 AM   #31
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Subject to each case at hand...... but understood
 
Old 12-28-2009, 03:29 PM   #32
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.... You know I think your daughter is cute.... luckily she wasnt my s/o but I am betting the look would be about the same :-O
 
Old 12-13-2010, 08:14 AM   #33
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Your friend is cute

be careful how you drop that one! Luckily I did it in ruasian and got to play the stupid american that used the wrong word card ..... wow talk about instant jealousy (I dont moves to her friend, she is just a pretty girl, as they all do seem to be over there. wtf is in their water >!) Apparently the competition for men is very fierce over there.
 
Old 12-13-2010, 12:37 PM   #34
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No woman wants to hear gee your friend is cute.
 
Old 12-13-2010, 04:15 PM   #35
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I could understand the highschool thing, I think your friend is cute you should introduce me to her so I can date/nail/get her to join us; but it was not the way I said it, nor the way I intended it. but those two out on the town sheeeshs !
 
Old 12-19-2010, 08:03 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
No woman wants to hear gee your friend is cute.
hahahah.... thats the funny part, their reaction when you do say it....

Or should I say..." damn, I wonder what she looks like naked"....

Better yet when she shows me the pics!!!

Reason to be honest
 
Old 12-19-2010, 11:03 PM   #37
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irina's pics are here, they are over in the ass thread
 
Old 12-20-2010, 03:14 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
hahahah.... thats the funny part, their reaction when you do say it....

Or should I say..." damn, I wonder what she looks like naked"....

Better yet when she shows me the pics!!!

Reason to be honest
Exactly what we hear.
 
Old 12-21-2010, 09:50 AM   #39
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hell she can keep her clothes on,,.... I just wanna know how she handles the corners ;)

bad dog, no biscuit
 
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