CStyle

Do you believe in love at first sight? Obviously most of us believe in "lust" at first sight, but I am talking about knowing in your first conversation with a person that this is the person you are going to be with and spend your life with.

That is how it was with my wife. After meeting her for the first time and about a 5 or so minute conversation I walked away and told my buddy, that is the kind of woman I will marry and make a life with. It has been an amazing trip, not always easy but amazing.

Sittin Pretty

I thought I used to believe in love at first sight but I am starting to look at love differently. As more of a choice than an emotion. So if I go with my girly gut I say yes... and that is how I feel right now... It started with lust and then a few minutes later I really did know... deep down in me I knew.
But if I try to be logical and tell myself that being in love is a choice... then no because I would have to decide if I wanted to give myself enough to love that person...

Lord... being a girl

CStyle

Actually your response makes total sense. I personally believe the being "in-love" is not the choice part "loving" someone is where the choice is made. In - love will always fade, but once it does that is where we make the choice to learn to love that person, despite the flaws that become obvious when that "in-love" infatuation fades.

Sittin Pretty

That is completely it.

Washingtonblonde

Yes. I believe it in. I've met this person. Connection the first time I met him nearly 8 years ago.. and somewhere deep down I have a feeling that I will eventually end up with this person. We've seen each other all of maybe 10 times over the years.. and there is just this AMAZING connection.

Sittin Pretty

Why has nothing happened if you feel so strongly.... bad timing?

TeashaMae

The first time I saw my ex, I said out loud to my friends "that's my next boyfriend" and low and behold he was....though I don't know that was "love at first sight", just a feeling I had.

As for actual "love at first sight", I'd like to think so, but am a little skeptical.

Washingtonblonde

Yeah.. bad timing. I was still married when I met him (no.. nothing happened) and he's currently in a difficult relationship. And there's many other factors that come into play such as children, age, and location.

I'm in no hurry to make anything happen.. Just living my life as I normally would.

evander

Honestly it wasn't until a recently that I figured out what love is.

I don't believe in love at first sight. For me, love is an emotion that grows. I enjoy growing closer and loving that special person each and everyday.

I totally believe in making a unique and special connection. But I don't feel that's love.

Sittin Pretty

Ah... timing will get you every time.
I know the one time I thought I might have had love at first sight and it was bad timing... so I waited.... it happened and I was totally disappointed. What I felt must have been indigestion not love.

Washingtonblonde

LOL.. That's cute. This person I know fairly well... am close with his family too. Who knows.. maybe it's more of a love as in family/close friend and not the 'partnership' type of love.. BUT.. I'm not going to dwell on it..

So.. to live for today!!

Sittin Pretty

And today is a pretty one....

Washingtonblonde

That it is! And it's my daughter's 13th Birthday!! She's growing up so nicely!

Sittin Pretty

Happy Birthday to her!!
Now there is love at first sight!

Washingtonblonde

You're telling me!! Got to experience that miracle TWICE!

evander

OK OK Ok now the birth of a child would be love at firrst sight.

Washingtonblonde

Oh.. and don't forget about puppies!! LOL.

CStyle

Actually I was just reading in my Expectant Father book that it is fairly common...more so for men than women, to not feel an immediate connection to their newborn, and it is a bond that develops over time, especially through holding the child. That wasn't the case for me, it was love at first sight...i had tears and all.

Dragonfish

LAFS absolutely possible. Seen it with my own two eyes, and experienced it only twice in my life.
Long story short, my friend and I on a train overseas, in the station another train stopped, going in opposite direction, he saw her she gave him the look. He jumps off train, onto the other one to meet her. I'm freaking out!
They are still married to this day.

MrsD

I don't believe in Love at first sight, I believe in the chemistry or lust but not love at first sight. Love is something that happens in the heart after you know someone. Now this is where we are going to have to agree to disagree. I don't believe loving someone is a choice its a feeling in the heart, its either there or it isn't. I can not make myself or learn to Love someone nor do I tell someone I Love them if I don't, friends included. I don't believe In Love is an infatuation that fades. I'm more In Love with my husband now than when we married. He still makes me weak in the knees, he still takes my breath away and I still can't wait to see him and he still tells me "I'm so In Love with you." Staying in love is what you work on in a marriage or relationship so things don't become comfortably stale. How many people have had there heart broke by I love you but I'm not in love with you. For me personally I don't believe in Love at first sight and for me I do believe in staying In Love forever. I know you can fall out of Love and I know you can Love someone but not be In Love with them. For me its a feeling that only my heart decides and one I cannot control.

evander

QFT

I believe you're going to feel what you feel. You only control how you react to those feelings.

Jet City Angel

Yes, I believe in the concept, but it's a slippery one.

As for me, I truly believe in the brilliance of the human psyche and the ability of the soul to recognize the essence of a kindred spirit, whether it's a romantic partner or BFF. Therefore, I do think you can feel an authentic connection with someone on a first encounter and just know in your heart “Wow, this person feels extremely special to me. I want to know him/her better." Is it Love at that point? I don't know .... maybe, maybe not. I suppose it's how you define Love given your personal interpretations and experience. Certainly, I think there's a connection and worth exploring.

However, I don't think the First Sight "Aha" moment is a prerequisite to a successful and happy relationship. Not at all. It's far more common for the "Aha" to reveal itself as you spend more time with a person, growing in relationship and opening your heart to them. For many, that's when we feel a deepening of emotions, but I think a connection was always there from the start. Regardless, if the other person simply isn’t ready or willing -- for whatever reason -- to open their heart, risk love, or choose being in a relationship with you at that point in time, the idea of love at first sight takes on a far more strained interpretation.

Which, I suppose, begs the question for another thread: Is Timing Everything?

Miss Annette

If it exists I have never experienced it.....

Mikercw

Bikenut

Well I'm about the most cynical person I know and I believe in it. I never did til it happened to me. I remember the EXACT piece of real estate I was standing on when I first saw him. And be patient WB, we spent the weekend racing (he was my ex bf's endurance partner, so nothing happened) I followed him around like a lost puppy for two days. Damn near cried when he left. Never saw him again for two years. My car broke down two years later, I misdialed and lo and behold, we are still together to this day. Even after doing a year apart. He still makes me swoon The greatest part...I STILL remember what he was wearing, how he was standing and how my heart felt when I laid eyes on him. I'm lucky enough to relive it everyday when he comes home.

CStyle

I understand what you are saying Mrs D and it makes sense. But you can't tell you me that you haven't had to make a conscious decision to work on your relationship no matter what. To grow together, to nuture that In love feeling, and a commitment to not pursue romantic relations outside your marriage. This is where the choice to love comes in. I am certain that if you or anyone began forming a romantic relationship outside your current one, neglecting your current one you would quickly fall out of love with you s/o. So this is why I believe it is a choice.

MrsD

Of course you have to work on your relationship no one gets married or commits to a relationship and lives happily everafter. I don't see that as a choice to love I see it as a responsibility to a commitment of the heart. Even if I were not to work on keeping the spark alive, I would still be in love with my husband it just would not be as exciting or rewarding for either of us. What I was disagreeing with is your statment that being In Love was indeed an infactuation that fades, what fades is the initial excitement the newness, but not the deep love you feel in your heart. The sparks and ecitement comes back off and on through out the years and is usually triggered be something so small, its a reminder of why you fell in love in the first place, you still have the passion. I do agree that you make the choice to overlook, work through and talk to your bestfriend about the things in a person that drive you insane. Because the thought of living without them is unbearable, why because your heart decided to love them.

Bikenut

too bad it's too long for a sig line

CStyle

ah...the decision....

MrsD

ah....different than the decision made by the brain.

CStyle

lol, i can see we having something in common Mrs D....the need for the last word. LOL Merry christmas!!

MrsD

Merry Christmas to you also and Happy New Year Too

CStyle

just can't stop myself lol....thanks!

MrsD

You do of course realize this could go on forever.

Washingtonblonde

How about I end it for the both of you. Is that a fair compromise??

CStyle

Yes I think Sarah could step in and resolve this....maybe

Washingtonblonde

^^That's cheating!!!

On another note.. if someone wants to drop off a hot firefighter at my doorstep for xmas then I'll work on that love at first sight thing.

MrsD

Apparently not since you couldn't keep from posting

Washingtonblonde

Both of you knock it off!!! I have the final word here! No more posting allowed in this thread by either of you!! LOL.

MrsD

Jeez Mom, he started it. I'll be good I promise

CStyle

she wont stop looking at me !

MrsD

Thats because he keeps making faces at me

CStyle

lol, you are my favorite Mrs D.....ok I will let you win...this one

MrsD

Have a wonderful Holiday my friend