Plummy

Are you the one to say "I love you" first? How did the receiver react?

If you're not, have you been caught completely off-guard by it? What did you do as a response?

I've never been the one to say it first. My response tends to be the look of shock and horror cause it was so unexpected and at a completely random time. But I also don't throw the term out to just anyone and use lightly. When I say it, I really mean it. That I'm actually IN love with you.

TeashaMae

I'm never the one to say it first...

The last time this happened, I grabbed our lunch garbage and walked it to the trash without a word.

Washingtonblonde

Yeah.. I'm retarded and just blurt it out.. but only because I feel like I'm going to burst! LOL.. I love you Plummy! I love you Teasha!

dizzle

i spit the 3 words like a drunken moron with a lisp.

but in all seriousness, i say it when it needs to be said .. if she doesn't feel the same way, then that's her own fucking problem.

usually, if u want someone to fall in love with you, use the term, "don't fall in love with me" and they tend to do so. I had a girl tell me that once .. holy hell it works!

Rockerchic

I'm tight lipped and won't say it unless I mean it. Then, I probably say it too much

Cooley

I thought those 3 words were what came after "nice shoes" although I don't tend to dread them...

and I've never been the one to say it first. I have been stopped cold when it was said to me in the past.

Mikercw

Three words that hardly come out of my mouth, in a relationship

beansbaxter

The only three words I have for this thread is...

I got nothing.

JuiceBox

oh brother

MrsD

I was taught you don't say I love you and expect it in return. Your simply stating your feelings. I have never been one to say it unless I really mean it I remember a guy told me he loved me once I said Thank You. He made a big deal about the return I love you and I said but I don't. Once you say it its out there you can't take it back, so I always just went with the no return expected.

evander

Dreaded words? I can count on one hand the number of people outside of my family I've ever said "I love you" to. I only say it when I feel it, even when I'm in a loving relationship. And yes I've always been the one to say it first.

IMHO the words don't carry much weight. It's a way to let the other person know how I feel about them. But I believe my loving actions are much more important than any words.

lovegun

I love you and your baking skillz so I guess I throw those words around you don't know me so don't judge

DJ Nathan V

Once, yeah, surprised the shit out of me.

Cooley

I still can't believe you told me off after that..

Sittin Pretty

me too...

Thinking back on it I have never said it first. I think everytime I knew it was coming and everytime I have waited to say it back because I really wanted to make sure I felt the same.

I have told the guys I dated in the past they would fall in love with my and I would break their hearts... and I didn't lie.... that made me laugh thinking back on that. Just call me Paula... 'cold hearted snake'

Burntliketoast

I wanted to say It first. It was lik year and a half of dating before he would even say it. I blinked at him and he would blink back so that was our sort of way of doing it...

Finally after he had surgery on his SPINE he told me. Everyone said that it was because he was druged, but even in his drugged state he claimed that wasn't why.

Missy

Once I was told first and I was shocked. The other time I said it first, yeah I didn't even mean to say that out loud.....he was shocked, then he poked and proaded until I said it again.

CStyle

3 dreaded words:

Toilet's backed up

Mikercw

3 dreaded Words:
Is It In

Clackamas

It came off (when all is said and done)

Mikercw

awww thats cute

Mikercw

Oh, Wrong Hole

snaps

what is that?!

adrenalinejunkie

you are done?
Is that it?

adrenalinejunkie

I love you too

midlman

My husband's home!!!

Mikercw

Love You Too sweetcheeks

Clackamas

Another test for us guys.....

Why women shouldn't say 'I love you' first - CNN.com

Why women shouldn't say 'I love you' first
By Wendy Atterberry

(The Frisky) -- If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I'll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say "I love you" first.

I'll give her plenty of other relationship tips, too, like how it's perfectly okay to ask a guy out, to make the first move, to even propose, but when it comes to the "L" word, the ball's in the guy's court.

This issue can cause a bit of commotion. "What is this, the Victorian era?" wrote one person, "if you truly love someone, tell them. Otherwise you're just playing outdated coquettish games." Another put it more diplomatically: "I don't think I've ever said 'I love you' first, but someone has to do it. It's okay to take a few risks."

I appreciate both arguments and understand the sentiments behind them, but at the risk of having my feminist card revoked, I think it's naïve for a woman to utter those three little words before a man does.

Unlike asking a man out, making a move on him, or even proposing, there's no action-based response to the first "I love you." It's all words, it's all emotion. In that moment, he either loves you back or he doesn't -- you only hear the black or white of a 'yes' or 'no,' not the grey of "Well, I like you a whole lot and I could see myself falling in love with you, but I'm just not quite there yet."

And the truth is, it often takes men longer to get there than it does for women. Men process their emotions more slowly, they're usually more cautious about taking their feelings and relationships to the next level.

So what happens if you get there first and you say it and he's not there yet? What happens when your "I love you" is met with a "thank you," or worse, a deer-in-headlights look? Well, it stings, sure, but more than that, it can stop a perfectly happy and healthy relationship in its tracks before it's even too far from the station.

If a woman asks a man out and he says 'no,' at least she knows where she stands with him and she doesn't waste any time pining over someone who isn't interested. Same thing goes if she makes a move on him and she's rejected.

If she's in a serious relationship -- one where the expression of love as been made clearly by both partners -- and she's eager to make a deeper commitment, there's nothing wrong with proposing. At the very least, it'll start a conversation of where the relationship is headed so the woman can decide for herself if and how long she's willing to wait if man isn't interested in getting married yet.

But an "I love you" uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn't feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn't get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.

I guess my advice to my future daughter would be this: "If you love a man and want to have a long relationship with him, give him time to get there. If you think you've given him enough time and you're ready to move on if he doesn't feel the same way for you, then go ahead and tell him you love him. But only say those words if you're prepared to let him go."

Then I'd teach her how to make my famous chili and do a one-handed cartwheel.

Wild Angel

I love you PNW!! I said it first!!

the last person I came close to saying that to I placed the words like this. " I know I could love you". That ended that relationship and it was not even an I Love You!! I just knew I could if the relationship kept heading the way it was.

The last time I was in a meaningful relationship was with my ex-husband were that would have came up and I can not remember who said it first.

I have had the thank you before when I said it first when I was in my 20's but dating in my 30's I do not think I will ever say it first again not even I know I could love you.

For get it let the guy say it first let him express his true love for you keep him guessing how you feel then he can search himself to see if his feelings are true...Guys always freak on the I love you words when a female says it first!

zooktls97

I'm usually the one who say it first, and I also mean it when I say it.
People say there're different kinds of love such as love to friends, family, pets, bikes etc. It's too bad that in English language, love only has 1 word and it's so generic and too universal.

In Indonesian language, there're different words for love for significant other and love for family, friends or pets etc. So people won't get mixed signal when I say that love word in Indonesian.

Washingtonblonde

I remember the exact moment that my ex husband told me he loved me. We were laying in bed and (this may seem weird to some of you but what the hell) and he was seductively sucking my fingers.. and he had a ring in his mouth and placed it on my finger. And it was then that he told me that he loved me and I remember thinking my heart was going to EXPLODE! That is a moment I will never forget.

Since being married I've said it to one person.. and yes.. I was the first. I'm not sure if I'll say it first or not in the future. But I'm certainly not going to hide my feelings in fear of being rejected (at least I hope I wouldn't do that). If it ends a relationship then it's for the best!!

Washingtonblonde

That makes sense.. Would be cool if we had something like that.

Rockerchic

i say it to everyone- all the time. my ex hus hated it and always called me out on it. he said i used the word to "loosely" and that when i would say it to him, it didn't hold as much value. whatever- when i say it, i mean it. I have a lot of love to share and i'm not gonna be greedy and hold onto it
as far as the first to say it- if i feel it, i say it

vivid

these words are very difficult to pry from my mouth. easy to say to family and friends but it takes on a totally different meaning when said to someone you're dating. it leaves me feeling rather vulnerable and exposed.