elaine

I think so. It's hard to find someone who isn't an emotional wreck or who feels they "missed out" on something so they want to re-live and play the game, so to speak. People our age are married, divorced, single parents, etc.

My sister-on-law told me that at my age *gasp* it would be hard to find someone who wasn't a divorcee or who didn't have kids, or both. I agree.

__________________
If you want a submissive woman... GO TO BURGER KING; where you CAN have it your way!

Here's some toilet paper coz you're being an ass.

Mikercw

Well yes you are right at least for the guys that you might be looking for... Not all are emotional wrecks, players, or not "right in the head".

You ARE still young - your smart,witty,beautiful, and have a great personality.
Its not as easy as being 18 again and having a boyfriend or two to choose from-- BUT -- That doesn't mean that there is not someone out there that you will find that you see everything in.

dizzle

how old are you exactly? I thought you're like 21 .. you sure party like you are.

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DISCLAIMER : I'm my own category

Dragonfish

As Tom lykis once said, your opportunities expand as you mature. When your 20 your age range is limited, but when you are older and established the range expands, allowing more choices.
While being too picky may be a deterrant, it is also worth it if and when the right opprtunity presents itself.

CStyle

You can call me a romantic or maybe even naive, but I truly believe that there is that perfect person out there for everyone. That being said I also believe that "water seeks its own level" meaning that in general people attract others who are in a similar mental, emotional, and spiritual state. If people spend more time working on themselves and their own issues, they have a better chance of connecting with a "healthy" person. "healthy" being someone at a similar level as ourselves.

__________________
“There's three methods to gaining wisdom. First is reflection, it's the highest. Second is limitation, it's the easiest. Third is experience, it's the bitterest.” confucius
http://chatoslife.blogspot.com/

DJ Nathan V

*looks down*

If it gets any harder...

... oh... nevermind.






Carry on.

__________________

recr8ton

I agree. I'm 38 and let me tell you at this age it can be tough.

CStyle makes good points, though I feel "healthy" to be a relative term. I feel people just need to accept the fact we ALL are emotional wrecks to some degree and we ALL have been bruised.

Washingtonblonde

It is harder. When I finally got out of my marriage I had NO DOUBT that I would meet someone wonderful and have what I felt I was always meant for. It's been nearly two years...... It's not as easy as I thought. But then again I'm much pickier than I used to be. I'm not willing to tolerate certain things from people (I think there was another thread where I touched on this). The first sign that someone wants me to change or tries to control me or a situation.. I'll take a walk!

recr8ton

also, as a male with no kids, dating a single mother can be pretty rough. You'll never be number one in her life, never be able to just go on a spontanious adventures. Then there is the dymanic of the mother and fathers relationship...is it good, bad. Then there is your relationship with them both and how invovled you are with the kid(s), because eventually you will become a parent figure in every way...It's alot for a guy to step into.

PDcycles

Who am I to give advice?? But all of you are correct, it does get more difficult to find anyone without baggage, me included, but these discussions help lots. DJ N, you are in the best position of all of us, you have more time to look around. Headup, dude you could be as ugly as me! lol or not.

midlman

Yea..it's probably harder to meet someone as you get older, since at this point...the usual place to meet someone is the bar scene and those are usually younger people....

The way I figure...I'll just keep doing what I find fun..and hopefully eventually I'll meet someone along the way with the same interests...

shelbyguy

what they dont realize is that...the grass isnt always greener ....
i have words that go along with this but i will keep them to myself.
nice post E

ODiE

There are so many factors in this it's hard to reduce to just a simple yes or now. Ultimately, i hate to admit, but I think Lykis had it right in saying as you get older you have more options. however, as you get older I think you also learn what you like more specifically and rule out a lot more people. So, as most other things, it depends on the individual. How specific are your criteria?

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

midlman

Given that the older you are the more "baggage" you are likely to be carrying around. It all depends on what one considers baggage..for some..anyone with kids will be deemed as having baggage..for others..it may not...

I suppose one bright point (depending on how you look at it) is that over 50% of folks are divorced.... misery loves company..and there's lots out there ...

elaine

Not necessarily "looking for"... just the ones who's paths I seem to come across.

Thanks Mike... that's sweet. But you're right... what we wanted when we were 20 are not the same as what we'd like ten years later... I'd like to think that "mine" is out there, but he's being a man and hasn't asked for directions yet! LMAO

I was single for 3 yrs while I made work and my masters my priority... I figured... a relationship wasn't a huge priority; it was a bonus. In my mind, being in a relationship would not help me get promoted nor will it help me get an education. I had the support I needed when I started when I was in the relationship, but after that ended it was all work and school. A relationship will come when the opportunity presents itself so there's no rush.

__________________
If you want a submissive woman... GO TO BURGER KING; where you CAN have it your way!

Here's some toilet paper coz you're being an ass.

elaine

My driver's license says I'm 33, but this guy at the bar tonight put me at 25 max. LOL

Right... a healthy relationship is built over time too... and anyone who's ever been hurt in a relationship IS "damaged" goods because now they views are skewed and they are more cautious.

Yup... I've always been told by my closest girl/guy friends that I'm "too picky". I think we have to be. I don't think that we're trying to find the one person who has all these traits.. we're just looking for the ones who meet most of the criteria... it's a give and take.

I told my bf (at the time) problems we could work out, but the moment he raised his hand at me, I'd be gone. I left him 14 months later. That was the only relationship I've ever walked away from...

No kidding right? I stopped going out because of that. Then I realzed, I wasn't meeting anyone (even new friends) because I stopped going out! I just go out now to have fun.

__________________
If you want a submissive woman... GO TO BURGER KING; where you CAN have it your way!

Here's some toilet paper coz you're being an ass.

elaine

Apparently too specific.

__________________
If you want a submissive woman... GO TO BURGER KING; where you CAN have it your way!

Here's some toilet paper coz you're being an ass.

dizzle

lower your standards then :D

__________________
DISCLAIMER : I'm my own category

Jet City Angel

Yes and no.

The harder part about dating over 30: more "baggage," however you define that term. More "wounds," more "battle scars," and bigger "trust" issues with the opposite sex. The flip side -- the fantastic part about dating over 30: you're beginning to know who you really are and living as the person you're truly meant to be, which means, you've just found the gateway to the best damn life you are capable of living.

Everyone, I mean everyone, will dance in the belly of the beast at some point in their lives. No one is immune. I don't care whether it's heart ache, serious illness, failure, divorce, crashing your bike and breaking a leg. Everyone will experience discomfort and loss at one point or another.

So, take these experiences -- take this discomfort -- and transform them into a life well lived. I'm not saying it's easy or fun. Somedays, it's damn brutal. What I am saying is that you're not alone and don't give up on the process if it matters to you to find and sustain a healthy relationship. Learn from these hardships and calibrate your relationship choices wisely as you cruise through the speedway of life.

Even though I'm ready to settle down (again) with the right guy, I enjoy dating at my age because I like who I am so much more than I did in my 20s. Hey, what can I say, I'm a hopeful romantic. I believe it will happen, just don't know when.

Rockerchic

the grass isnt greener on the other side- its greener where you water it.




I think as you get older and experiance more relationships, you discover more about yourself as well. You learn what is important to you, that u have certain values you wont budge on and have a better idea of what it is you are looking for. At this point in my life, I don't plan on settling for anything less. Am I willing to sacrifice certain things in life, but the I'm hoping the trade off is just as rewarding. I'm dating a man that has custody of his kids- this is a major lifestyle change for me, but I'm at a point where I'm ready for that extra responsiblity, I wouldnt have been a few years ago

Jet City Angel

Rockerchic, love the quote: the grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. You're right ... it definitely takes two people to fight for the relationship. It only takes one discordant partner to end it.

Metonymy

I can't even begin to tell you how right this is. I've tried it a few times and needless to say, I'm still single...

elaine

Not just for guys... women too. I love kids, but don't have any myself and not in a hurry to have one of my own. But you guys are right... I've dated guys who have kids and understand their kid(s) comes first; they always will. And it is hard to determine the kind of dynamic that is in current standing. Whether they live with them or not, you definitely have to have the patience to work at it and around the other person's schedule as nothing is set in stone.

__________________
If you want a submissive woman... GO TO BURGER KING; where you CAN have it your way!

Here's some toilet paper coz you're being an ass.

CStyle

The Grass is grener on the other side because they have more shit over there.

__________________
“There's three methods to gaining wisdom. First is reflection, it's the highest. Second is limitation, it's the easiest. Third is experience, it's the bitterest.” confucius
http://chatoslife.blogspot.com/

elaine

^^

__________________
If you want a submissive woman... GO TO BURGER KING; where you CAN have it your way!

Here's some toilet paper coz you're being an ass.

Clackamas

Cooley

oh yeah yeah. run with that, be hot lady cradle robber!

__________________

Washingtonblonde

Not sure why I'm seeing this for the first time.. and I must say that you are right. But.. it's not just for new guys..my kids come before absolutely everyone including myself.. even before myprior marriage to their father.

And yes.. their dad will always be 'in the picture'.. ugh.. and my mom was making jokes this evening on what a 'hard sell' we all are (we're a little quirky??).

So I wonder for a single mom.. would I have better luck with a single guy or better luck with a 'dad' who is in the same situation and possibly more understanding?? Or is it all just on the individual...

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I'm haivng curry tuna on cracked wheat sour dough / borckly cheader quiesh and wine

Miss Annette

For me I would not have a problem dating a man with kids. I very much admire a parent (any parent) that puts their kids before anyone else in their life. It is one of the qualities that I love most about Sarah. Personally, I love kids so I do not have a problem being around them or including them in on a date. And I would never label someone having children as "baggage".

Washingtonblonde

That's nice Annette. I think the word 'baggage' is a sucky word.. It sounds so negative.. but having a past and having a family should never be looked at as a negative thing.

I think a lot more women are open to dating someone with kids then men. Most men I've talked with would prefer to date someone that didn't have kids over someone with kids. These men would also prefer to have their 'own' kids versus taking in someone elses kids. Blood matters.

__________________
I'm haivng curry tuna on cracked wheat sour dough / borckly cheader quiesh and wine

evander

Truth for the most part.

Blood doesn't matter to me. Adoption is fine. But it comes back to "our" kids, verses her's from a previous relationship.

__________________
Love doesn't make the world go 'round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

zooktls97

Well, people these days are becoming more independent and single life style is a trend nowadays. It's not only here, but it's in other countries too like in Japan. People stay to focus on their career than family. But then again, in Japan, prostitution is legal there too.

I myself would not date someone with kids. I'm greedy with it comes to attention. I want her to be number 1 in my life and vice versa. If I'm 2nd, I feel lack of attentions. If I can't find that person, then I'd rather stay single.

Metonymy

I have to digress from the general consensus here. I find that it's getting easier as I'm getting older. I've learned more about myself, settled down, and have a good idea of what a successful relationship will be like for me.

Rewind 5 years and I couldn't have you the difference between a good relationship and a hole in the ground, other than the basic tenets (no lying, cheating, etc.). I didn't have a clue what a truly successful relationship was about.

Times have changed and so have I. "Growing up" is hard, but well worth the adventure.

Metonymy

While I can't give too much detail on the idea of men or women and who is more open to dating others with kids, I think a lot of it has to do with the kid(s) themselves. Some kids are absolutely awesome, and some kids are total brats.

I won't date a girl who has kids if I think they're terrors. Any girl that I've dated who has kid(s) has been a good parent and had good kids. It's why I moved forward with dating her instead of immediately moving on.

If a kid acts like a tyrant, it reflects directly back on the parent and points to other things that need to be taken into consideration.

cityxslicker

Looking for someone that hasnt been married, and has no kids is an ever shrinking pool, and if you make it to 40 and havent done either everybody will assume that you are 'damaged goods' and a red flag.
Gawd I love me some western cultural generalizations (disgusted, not angry)

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Something pithy, sarcastic and rather opinionated... just waiting for the inspiration.

cityxslicker

Yes it is harder, thank you Pfizer, Lilly-Miller, and Glaxo SmithKline. If you triple stack the Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra and chase it with Red Bull.... Its a hardon that lasts for days and has wings ;)

__________________
Something pithy, sarcastic and rather opinionated... just waiting for the inspiration.

Bikenut

you tard way to bump a year old thread...not that we have an abundance of them..wow, we have been afloat a year? Holy shit...

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What if the hokey pokey really is what it's ALL about

MrsD

Aren't you supposed to seek medical help if you have a erection lasting more than 4 hours. I wonder what they do, I always laugh at the comercial when I hear that. With wings so it can fly to infinity and beyond..oh wait thats buzz lightyear..oh its going to be a day

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain-Go Dance

cityxslicker

I was bored
I am an attention whore
I was drunk
I am an attention whore
I had insomnia
I am an attention whore
There was nothing good on TV
I am an attention whore
I was out of booze
I am an attention whore
I already made a sammich
I am an attention whore

And the number one reason to bump a year old thread ?


bump itty bumptitty bump

And I am an attention whore.

__________________
Something pithy, sarcastic and rather opinionated... just waiting for the inspiration.

Vigilante

I think you are supposed to seek medical attention if it last more than 4 hours. I think they show you a picture of Hillary Clinton... Pretty sure that would do it for me anyway. This also works if you happen to drink antifreeze and need to vomit.

__________________
Vigilante
3-7-77

Mikercw

ya know.... I knew I was forgetting something

Now I know why cats love the stuff!

__________________
DISCLAIMER: I WILL say or do things you may not like. DO NOT get all butt hurt over it. If you have a problem. SAY SOMETHING
Women want to ask my opinion... But they may never want my answer

MrsD

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain-Go Dance

cityxslicker

Hillary call me Ma'am NO
Miss Chelsea Maybe
Misstress McCain Hell yeas

cue the johnny bravo oooh momma

__________________
Something pithy, sarcastic and rather opinionated... just waiting for the inspiration.