ODiE

So funny story. As most of you know I'm a single dad and along with that territory comes a pretty significant lack of free time. Particularly free time that can involve partying and whatnot that all the other early twenty-somethings are doing.

Last weekend was epic. We had two nights of back to back parties at my place that didn't get to out of hand that were going until 5am each consecutive morning. Both nights there was a promising girl/guy ratio.

So anyway, I met this girl who was very unique, which is really my only hard and fast "deal breaker" guidline. She spoke her mind, wasn't afraid to talk shit and stand up for herself, and she had a kid a little older than my girl. This never happens. I was cautiously optimistic about the new prospect. I've come to learn to be cautious is the best kind of optimism for good reasons. This story is one of those reason.

The first night I walk her home and we're having a great conversation. She, as casually as she can, says "whats that called when you feel like you've known someone your whole life?"

It was at that point i was pretty sure she was into me. I was made even more certain when she asked for my number. We hung out the next few days. Did what you might consider "dating" for a short while. Got coffee and lunch etc. Hung out. Nothing overtly physical but nothing totally platonic either. During this time she's typically blowing up my cell with texts which is cool too because who doesn't like a text buddy right?

I'll preface this next portion by saying I have no tolerance for my time being wasted. My cup is over flowing as it is so any new interest that comes along means something else is going to spill over and I have to weigh that and constantly try to determine if I think someone is worth my time or not. In this case I didn't have a lot overflowing out of my cup but all-the-same I don't like being toyed with, used, or otherwise mislead in any way shape or form.

Over the course of the last few days my phone has fallen silent and I haven't spoke to her in several days now. I ask a mutual friend what the deal is and after some humming and hawing I finally beat out of her that she is recently ENGAGED!

Apparently she met a guy on the internet from South Carolina some months ago and has been talking to him on a regular basis since then. Recently he flew up here and after being here for all of a reported 3 days they are now engaged. Now she plans to move down there with him in the next two weeks.

Now, I may have done my fair share of shitty things in the past. I've cheated on girlfriends and ALWAYS fessed up to the moment of weakness because honesty is above all to me when it comes to virtues. I have never done that. I have never lead a girl on with my own needs for feminine attention at the forefront of my motivations; and then just cut the communication-cord.

Is this as fucked up as I think it is or am I totally over reacting? I will admit It's not as if I was in love with this girl but as i said I was cautiously optimistic for the first time in some-time. And, I feel that had I not beat it out of her friend I don't know how far she woulda strung this communications embargo go. Doing something less than honorable is one thing but not manning up to it is another.

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

Miss Annette

Wow. I really don't know what to say. That was really low. I too have been lead on before but nothing like that. Im sorry hunny.

Since I don't know you I am going to go out on a limb and say that your a great guy and you can do way better than her and it is entirely her loss. Um......you are a nice guy, right?

sin808

It is as fucked up as you think it is...and sadly, from what I've seen from women in my life, all too common.

snaps

See, this makes me sad. My first reaction to the original questions is "maybe it's the kind of girl you attract" ... my second reaction (which should probably be my first) is "wow, yeah, this seems typical enough" and that just sucks. Our generation's morals (totally generalizing and combining several generations, I'm sure) don't seem to really exist, or are at least few and far between

sin808

I agree and I really hope it is just a few like that.

Oh, and having been the guy on the other side while his girl was doing that kinda stuff (albeit online) to guys- Sorry ODiE.

ODiE

The girls that think I'm good for a ring, find out I'm not and bounce? lol... feel so used.

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

MrsD

I wonder what would have happened if you moved as fast as her Internet buddy. She was looking for someone to take care of her and her child. Thank your lucky stars you played your cards the way you did. There are a lot of velcro women out there you end up watching the kids while there out partying.

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain-Go Dance

ODiE

There's another thing I forgot to mention. Her kid is in Colorado with her ex-husband. She moved to WA after they split up and he had an affair. Always struck me as odd that someone would move that far away from their kid deliberately.

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

Rockerchic

that sucks..

unfortunetly it rolls both ways- guys are just as capable of mind fucking :(

sorry it happend to you tho.

__________________
Never confuse movement with action.

MrsD

Well Darlin' for me that would have been a mother of a Red flag. Sorry this happened but I just bet there was a lesson attached Oh and because that bothered you your a good Dad for thinking about the child factor. Thers no way I would move that far from my child.

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain-Go Dance

Mikercw

Karma Is A Bitch sometimes....

__________________
DISCLAIMER: I WILL say or do things you may not like. DO NOT get all butt hurt over it. If you have a problem. SAY SOMETHING
Women want to ask my opinion... But they may never want my answer

Bikenut

sorry that happened. I'm gunna say something I always have - never trust anyone. If someone is going to be true to you, it will show after time progresses. Even then, don't be shocked. I know I am portrayed as the most bitter and jaded person, and not even that nullifies me from being hurt. When we jump into relationships quickly, we are making ourselves venerable to douche bags like this. You have to establish trust and faith. None of that is done quickly. It ferments like a good wine. Take the lesson and learn from it.

__________________
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's ALL about

ODiE

how's that?

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

TeashaMae

I'm sorry Odie....I don't really think it's a gender thing.

I do however agree with Amy. It's this generation, it's cut throat and no one cares anymore about how they treat people. Makes it hard to trust people, and even harder to be optimistic when dating...which is why I'm not.

BUT better to find this out now, rather than later down the road.

__________________

Washingtonblonde

Odie - as you get older, you will come across MANY types of people and many different situations which seem shitty. All I can say is that I'm sorry you were disappointed and that all of these shitty experiences will simply help you grow.

__________________
I'm haivng curry tuna on cracked wheat sour dough / borckly cheader quiesh and wine

Mikercw

Once a Cheater Always a cheater...... You've played girls in the past...and now she played you

__________________
DISCLAIMER: I WILL say or do things you may not like. DO NOT get all butt hurt over it. If you have a problem. SAY SOMETHING
Women want to ask my opinion... But they may never want my answer

ODiE

I will admit fault there but I also always fessed up to it. I think there's something to be said for making a mistake and apologizing.

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

Mikercw

Making a mistake is just that.... A mistake... You cant take back that mistake or redo it.
So why Apologize when in reality it does no good.... Cause if you didn't have the idea of cheating on a girlfriend from the get go... There would NEVER be an reason to say your sorry for something like this, now would there?

__________________
DISCLAIMER: I WILL say or do things you may not like. DO NOT get all butt hurt over it. If you have a problem. SAY SOMETHING
Women want to ask my opinion... But they may never want my answer

ODiE

It boils down to a matter of opinion. What's worse? cheating in a (drunken) moment of weakness or being deliberately deceitful? I think the latter.

Cheating is a crime of opportunity IMO. It well just happen if you put yourself in the wrong situations. The key is avoiding those situations. outright lying to someone has intent. Intent counts for a lot. When you deliberately deceive someone you intend to do them harm, when you get drunk and wanna get play and cop to it there is no intent of harm.

cheating < lying.

__________________
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth."

Avboden

I feel you, oh man do I feel you. Women are deceitful bitches.

twice last year I went out with a girl for about a month or later, then they just stop, then are in a relationship with someone else in a few weeks.

Once was with a girl, got,,, well physical pretty quick. Then she tells me she's decided to stay with her BOYFRIEND who's currently in New Zealand.


countless more stories, i've had awful luck. Had....a total of 6 women play me last year in some way or another.

Nothing like that though. That just blows. ENGAGED? I really hope you told her exactly what was on your mind. She deserves it.

__________________
"So grab your dick and double click"
~Ave. Q
<-- the dude that always gets screwed over, not in the good way

Miss Annette

OK......I get that there are some bad women out there but there are just as many, if not more, men that play women all of the time!!!!!