http://pnwlove.com/blogs/ Love Dating Relationships Friendship in Washington Oregon Idaho en Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:17:12 GMT vBulletin 60 http://pnwlove.com/images/love/misc/rss.jpg http://pnwlove.com/blogs/ http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/19-what-my-home-meant-me.html Sat, 12 Dec 2009 08:36:48 GMT I think when we go through divorce, we all want to make sure we're successful and prove that we can move forward. For me, it was showing I could still maintain my business, own beautiful things, laugh with the most friends, and finally, reside in a loving home. I found my "home" 2 years after my divorce. Before that, I had lived in a 800sq ft apt (after living in 2500sf home with "him".)
It was out in the country- 5 acres of peace and quiet, and oh yeah, big and beautiful. For the last 2 years, I've finally been home. I know my family love my home (I mean, they have been here for a holiday or two). Friends enjoy it- the party's, the hot tubs and misc social gatherings. And even if 300 days of the year its just me and a dog, its been our "home".
Today I decided to leave my home. It was time. Opportunity knocked (well, kinda more like baseball bat to the temple)...and in a matter of 24hours, I'd written my plan to vacate notice. Who ever thought that would end up being the hardest email ever? Wow, talk about one of the saddest moves ever. But Iknow it will be positive, and already I'm excited for great new things to come...In my new home. ]]> Rockerchic http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/19-what-my-home-meant-me.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/cstyle/11-way-he-looks-me.html Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:12:19 GMT The way he looks up at me and smiles. My son see’s me come into the room and his facial expressions light up. He smiles, his eyes get big. A sense... The way he looks up at me and smiles. My son see’s me come into the room and his facial expressions light up. He smiles, his eyes get big. A sense of overwhelming joy and emotion flood through me. I just want to hold him, god it is going to be so difficult to have to discipline him, but I know without a doubt that it is vital to his success. Each day I gain a better understanding of why people say that they miss this stage of a child's life. I love it when he smiles so big that his eyes are squished closed by his little round cheeks. His laughter , not even fully developed is such an amazing thing. I watch him sleep. So peaceful, arms flung out above his head. He even smiles in his sleep sometimes, I wonder what he is dreaming about.

He is trying to crawl, and hasn’t quite figured out how to lift both his hind and front end at the same time. I want to help him, I want to do it for him, but I know this will only hinder his development. So I sit and watch as he lifts his butt into the air, while planting his chest and face into the carpet. I try not to laugh to much at the quite humorous sight. He begins getting frustrated that he is not getting anywhere and just rolls to his back. Smiles at me and then goes back to attempting this new feat.

He loves music, or maybe it is more that we love music and he has no choice but to listen. A good beat comes on and he begins bobbing his head. He will sit and stair for hours as I bang away on the drums, or strum out a tune on my guitar. I wonder if he remembers the songs I sang for him in his mothers womb. Those days I would sit and play my 6 string, while free-styling lyrics about the surprise that was growing within.

Who would have thought that just a few months later a blue eyed baby boy would be born into the world 8lbs 8oz, 21 inches long. With dark brown hair and blue eyes. I blink and he is five an a half months old now, his eyes are still blue as can be, we are hoping they stay that way. I will do what ever I can to protect his innocence, and give him the chance that was stolen away from me to enjoy being a child. Today I get to be the father that I always wished I had, an chance to be the father I always wanted for me. ]]> CStyle http://pnwlove.com/blogs/cstyle/11-way-he-looks-me.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/10-time-change.html Tue, 10 Mar 2009 22:16:41 GMT I have a habit of getting stuck...
Change? I hate it. Especially if I'm running in that zone we call comfort. If something is working, even just remotely, why change it? So without this "change", i tend to get bored. But I choose not to change anything- instead i decide on "disrupting" this so called path I'm on. Ruffle the feathers, stir the pot, rock the boat- these are all terms that can describe me...and that doesnt make em good.
Well its been mentioned here and there that I've gotten some tough love from a few good friends to say the lease. Two really bad cliches that apply to me: 1. You fail to plan, you plan to fail. 2. Definition of insanity-do same and expect different results. SHIT! you mean I need to change???? And whats interesting come to think of it...pretty sure i was hit with idea sometime around new years. It was going to be my new motto. Of course I was gonna start easy. I'll change my haircolor, and the style...okay this is good, its workin for me- people are liking it. Who am I hanging out with? ohhhh yup, better change that too. I want to be around positive people, less drama- healthy folks that enjoy the same pleasures as me- NO WAIT! NO I DONT! I want them to indroduce me to NEW things! yup! Cuz i'm changing. :) So what else- hmm, i douched the salon. BE GONE! How can I change anything in the shop when everyday i come in to the same negative, crappy thankless crew? I cant. Be gone! So i let everyone go. No i don't want anyone new just yet. I'm still getting rid of that damn icky juju. Wow! and I feel FUCKING GREAT! The phone is ringing off the hook, my door is revolving with new and old clients- new people are calling about potential work, new sales peeps are knocking. I've been offered not one, BUT TWO seperate color educator opportunities (you mean YOU like me and my work?? and I get to decide if I wanna work for YOU??) whoooo hooo. Man, this change feels so good, i think I'm gonna just keep rolling with it! Ive picked out a new product line, I've rearrange the salon, i'm changing my color line...OH MY THIS IS SO FREAKIN SCARY- BUT HELL I'M EXCITED! Bring on the change!!!:mfclap: I'm changing how I view life, who I allow to lean on me- are you leaning or sucking?? I've changed in the sense that the word NO is a little easier to say now. I have set boundries, and will be sticking with them. If this forward, positive roll of change keeps going this well- my oh my. I AM soooo happy someone told me about "change". ]]> Rockerchic http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/10-time-change.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/evander/8-going-green.html Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:25:21 GMT It seems to be all the rage today. Hybrid cars, recycling, organic foods, and of course not wasting energy. These are all great for the environment... It seems to be all the rage today. Hybrid cars, recycling, organic foods, and of course not wasting energy. These are all great for the environment what are we doing for ourselves? Are you wasting your emotional energy?

There is both positive and negative emotional energy. Negative emotional energy comes in the form hate, anger, and frustration. If you hate someone you give them negative emotional energy. If you get frustrated at their actions you’re using emotional energy. Most negative energy is wasteful. But it’s also the easiest to stop wasting. Just don’t feed the negative feelings. You remove yourself from the people that make you angry, frustrated, or that you hate.

Positive energy comes in the form of love, caring, and happiness. This energy, in my life, is what I give the most of. Who doesn’t feel good giving love? Or caring for someone? Who doesn’t like to be happy? It feels so good to give positive energy because we crave it in return. When we get positive energy for giving positive energy we’re not wasting it. It’s very healthy to feed off of it and I believe as you give positive energy, and get positive energy, you have more to give.

But what if you’re giving positive energy and you don’t get it in return? You’re wasting it. If you keep giving it and don’t get it in return you’re going to drain yourself completely. I feel for people who don’t have emotional energy. Their not in touch with their feelings. They don’t have love to give. And sadly they don’t care.

I’m afraid the only way to stop wasting positive emotional energy is to remove yourself from the people who will take and take and take you’re emotional energy and not give back. It’s not easy because you love and care for them. But if they don’t start giving back and you don’t remove yourself from them, you’ll waste all your energy and become a shell of who you are.

It’s nice to be concerned about the environment, recycle, eat organic, and use energy efficient products. But take some of those ideals and apply them to yourself and stop wasting your emotional energy. ]]> evander http://pnwlove.com/blogs/evander/8-going-green.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/lovegun/7-life-sex-all.html Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:23:48 GMT Sometimes I wonder do we really know one another, I mean if I went by a different name would my friends know who I am? It is weird this thing called... Sometimes I wonder do we really know one another, I mean if I went by a different name would my friends know who I am? It is weird this thing called life and the ins and outs of relationships, I want this she wants that when all anyone wants is to be wanted.

Along the same lines why is everyone caught up about sexuality we all know what each of us has, might be different in shape and size but there should not be a surprise on what it looks like.

And with that the age old question of does size matter, well of course it does size of a wallet makes a difference, the size of a woman’s breast makes a difference, the size of a mans penis makes a difference. Size answers all of life’s questions; the only difference about it is some people acknowledge the truth and some hide behind it. So where do you lie? ]]> lovegun http://pnwlove.com/blogs/lovegun/7-life-sex-all.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/6-yes-i-like-blog.html Sun, 09 Nov 2008 20:51:17 GMT what makes a day feel good or bad? Was it how you slept or didn't sleep thru the night. Is it that ur hair and/clothes don't look "just right"? Did someone say or do something to affect your mood? It seems at some point one or all of these things can make or break your day. Very rarely do I wake up and just decide to have a shitty day. I never wake up and hit the snooze over and over again cuz I dread what the day may bring. I feel quite fortunate knowing that even if my day starts out rocky, theres going to be some client or friend that will do or say something that turns me around. So a big thank you to those of you who make my day! And for those of you who feel like shittin on my parade, take ur poop elsewhere...:thefinger: ]]> Rockerchic http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/6-yes-i-like-blog.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/5-happy-halloweenie.html Sat, 01 Nov 2008 01:49:47 GMT Well its my last night to drink. Tomorrow I'm eliminating alcohol 'cept for some holiday cheers here and there.

I'm gonna stay put at home and see if I get any trick or treaters. I think I'm too far off the beatin path to get any. But going out in costume tonight just doesnt sound fun. Maybe I am getting old and boring.

Tomorrow is golf. woot woot! I havent done enough of it this year. Funny how the things that you enjoy and make u smile are usually the first to go when you get a busy schedule. Ever notice too that when u start dating, u kinda loose part of yourself? I don't think its conforming or sacrificing yourself, but more like the trade off at the time seems rewarding enough. Then, when part of the equation is removed, your like wrf? And u realize all this shit you shouldve been doing for you is still waiting there to be done?

I guess that's where I'm at. Time to find a balance between maintaining my sense of "self" but still be able to share part of that "self" with someone in a healthy manner. (that's provided there IS someone)

anyway just my thought of the day, since it seems to be what i struggle with the most ]]> Rockerchic http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/5-happy-halloweenie.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/evander/4-love-happiness.html Thu, 30 Oct 2008 01:39:37 GMT Love and Happiness. We all want it. We all search for it. Do we really understand these feeling? I thought I understood these feelings. I was wrong.... Love and Happiness. We all want it. We all search for it. Do we really understand these feeling? I thought I understood these feelings. I was wrong. I didn't know what true love was or what it felt to really be happy. For 32 years of my life I was searching in vain for something I didn't understand.

I was incredibly selfish in my search for happiness. I was so caught up in my search for something I didn't yet understand that I destroyed many relationships. I was incorrectly searching for something or someone to make me happy. It was all about me. That mentality kept me from making friends. Destroyed a marriage. And strained the relationship with my family. I still didn't know what I was ever looking for. Life changes and you grow from it. I grew considerably from my divorce.

Two years ago for the first time in my life I felt true love. I have grown as a person by experiencing this. But I was still selfishly searching for happiness and that selfishness destroyed the relationship. For the first time in my life felt heart break. It hurts. I don't like pain and in a desperate act to try and ease my pain. I resorted to the selfish persona I hate. I acted in a selfish manner and tried to win her back. I wanted her back for the wrong reasons. I was afraid that this experience of love would be lost forever. I am wrong. I now understand what love is.

Love is about putting someone else's needs before yours. Love is an emotion that is shared. Love is unconditional. Love is being completely open and honest with the other person. Love can hurt. Being completely open and honest can be painful. Love means you have complete trust. Love is being truthful first with yourself then with others. Love is not being judgmental.

Through this painful breakup. I discovered what it means to be happy. Happiness is something that has to come from within. Happiness is a state of being not just an emotion. To really be happy, not just feel happy, you need to understand what is important in your life. It is important to me to love the people in my life.

I have a great understanding of myself. I know where I am now emotionally. I know what kind of person I'm going to be. I now have the understanding of what I need to do to become that person. ]]> evander http://pnwlove.com/blogs/evander/4-love-happiness.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/3-emotional.html Fri, 24 Oct 2008 06:45:01 GMT grrr. I am tonight. I just wanna cry- okay, so I am. I do not understand how something so simple as showing someone how easy it is to LIVE a happy... grrr. I am tonight. I just wanna cry- okay, so I am. I do not understand how something so simple as showing someone how easy it is to LIVE a happy stress free relationship can turn into a tipped over bucket of sheeeeeeeeeeeeot. I'm pissed, frusterated, sad in a kick em in the fuckin head kinda way. i'M having a serious visit about "life" and the fucker just starts snoring....for realz?

Of course there's a bigger picture, but somehow that seems to sum it up for me for now.:banghead: ]]> Rockerchic http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/3-emotional.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/2-ex.html Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:33:18 GMT is a member, therefor my thoughts and comments that I feel like postin, I cant. It sux. Not sure what to do about it..... is a member, therefor my thoughts and comments that I feel like postin, I cant. It sux. Not sure what to do about it..... ]]> Rockerchic http://pnwlove.com/blogs/rockerchic/2-ex.html http://pnwlove.com/blogs/cstyle/1-first-child.html Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:19:42 GMT Having a child is an amazing experience. I can't believe how much he changes everyday. He is only two weeks old and I am already overwhelmed in amazement. His little personality is already beginning to shine. I love being close to him, holding him, talking to him. Since the wife is breast feeding, there is not a lot that I can do when it comes to really providing for him, so I am bonding with him by giving him his baths, changing diapers, dressing him, comforting him, burping him. What ever I can do to build that relationship.

I was talking to my neighbor who also just had a baby. He commented to me how he doesn't do anything with his kid, because she just needs her mom right now till she is older. I thought this was so sad, he is missing out on so much. Last night I was giving "E" a bath and he was fussy cause he was a little constipated, so we are bathing it up and he just lets it go in his bath water. I mean infant poo everywhere. I am a little freaked out at this point, being that I have never dealt with something like this before. I don't want him bathing in poop water. So I pick him up and somehow manage to undress myself with one hand, while simultaneously running water into the tub and we hop in and get him all cleaned up. It was just a really neat experience. Thank God for a handsome little boy! ]]> CStyle http://pnwlove.com/blogs/cstyle/1-first-child.html