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Old 01-07-2010, 08:40 AM   #1
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A Little Help Please

Probably posted in the wrong section but lurkers bug me and this is for my ship mates only.
Miss Leslie and I are on the outs...again. I will try to make this short but detailed. She's not loving school (she goes to Paul Mitchell night school) she doesn't like being on the floor shes nervous ect. Shes confused, upset, not feeling well, lonesome, not liking work either. So she calls we chat she comes out I'm not home she talks to Sis who asks questions that ticks her off. OK Leslie weighs about 99lbs that's a drop of about 20 in a short time. She works all day attends school at night and fits in a social life. So shes burned out, I understand that. But she goes at everything like shes killing snakes and jumped into school her life long dream with out weighing the odds.
Here's where I need help. She and I had a conversation where she told me I'm not supportive, I don't have time to listen and I don't understand. I told her to take it down a notch and before I could finish I got the goodbye and F...Off. Nice...followed by a voice mail stating don't call me, don't talk to me, leave me alone... OK...Then a PM that basically stated all the above and she wouldn't talk to me again unless it was a generic subject. I responded in a email with I told you to take it down a Notch because you were wired to explode which you did. I do listen, I do care and I do have time. i just proceed cautiosly and think about what I'm going to say to you. Do I want you to quit school NO. But you have to make your own choices. Sorry but you have to let me lick my wounds on this one as I don't appreciate being told to F...Off.
So today the Mom part of me wants to call her and check on her. The stubborn part of me says let her lay in the bed she made. I'm tired of getting kicked in the teeth. I have a lot on my plate... daughter at home with 2 babies..Hubby...Hubby's Mom..My parents and as usual my Moms psychoing out because I called her on some shit she pulled. Tax season and then there's me where do I fit in. My 10 minutes I talk to my sis that's pretty much it. Sorry so long.. my rant is done, any advise would be appreciated. I'm at the point of a long walk off a short bridge.
 
Old 01-07-2010, 10:04 AM   #2
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holy cow she sounds just like the girl im not really seeing......I think, but am not sure on this no amount of advice is going to help her, when you give advice it just sounds like ridicule because your probably right and she cant help but internalize, she will come back around because by the sounds of her misery she desperately needs support and someone who knows her to listen. She is probably realizing she put way to much on her plate but her pride has taken over and wont allow her to admit it. Sounds to me like she will destroy herself trying to prove she can handle it. I have to ask the question, is she using any substances possibly? I guess my advice would be to only listen, pump her up with reassurance, and give her the space she needs to figure it out for herself. good luck!
 
Old 01-07-2010, 11:45 AM   #3
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Thanks and drugs no, alcohol yes. But she is responsible and hates drugs. However she did at one point have a eating disorder which I'm worried shes doing again. However when I try to talk to her about it I get slammed. So that tells me shes doing bad things to her body. She also had meningitis when she was 18 her immune system hasn't been the same since. 26 is such a young age to have a life crisis, but then again shes old enough to know not to bite the hand that loves her.
 
Old 01-07-2010, 12:27 PM   #4
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Sorry MrsD...I would let her settle down a bit before giving her call. Then, I would call her up and let her know how much you love her and under no circumstance is okay to talk to her mommy that way. And only then, talk about a game plan to get her on track. Its not easy maintaining work, school and a social life-something may have to go
 
Old 01-07-2010, 08:39 PM   #5
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I'm confused. Is Leslie your daughter that is going through the divorce? I'll hold my response til that is defined.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 12:09 AM   #6
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No... Leslie youngest daughter having hard time...
Lashara- oldest going through divorce....
 
Old 01-08-2010, 03:13 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Washingtonblonde View Post
I'm confused. Is Leslie your daughter that is going through the divorce? I'll hold my response til that is defined.
No Leslie is my youngest shes 26, the other one LaShara is 27. They are as different as night and day.

Last edited by MrsD; 01-08-2010 at 03:17 AM.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 03:18 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
No... Leslie youngest daughter having hard time...
Lashara- oldest going through divorce....
Could you just handle both of them for me and I'll take a vacation.

Oh and btw I'm pretty sure LaShara's phone was lighting up last night...LOL
 
Old 01-08-2010, 05:34 AM   #9
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I'll take care of Leslie for ya MrsD, I will make that personal sacrifice....
 
Old 01-08-2010, 06:35 AM   #10
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You have lots of armour right ?
 
Old 01-08-2010, 06:56 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
You have lots of armour right ?
Yep sure do
 
Old 01-08-2010, 07:06 AM   #12
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Oh and as far as the situation with her goes, I would let her be for a bit. You've said your piece in your email to her. It sounds like you have more than enough on your plate so let her be an adult.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 04:20 PM   #13
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^^Your right it sucks but your right. I don't like not hearing from my kids, I like to know everyone is safe. But I will give her the space she requested and I'm pretty sure Duane will check on her after he cools off a bit.
You know I don't even like it when the regulars on here drop off for a while it makes me worry if there OK. I'm such a Mom maybe I need a Mom break and try just being a wife for a weekend. But hes going snowmobiling, oh well such is life.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 04:45 PM   #14
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i have a very hard time with any age group disrespecting their parents. I've been witness to a wierd dad/daughter disfunctional relationship- I could/would NEVER tell my mom to fuck off, NO MATTER how she made me feel. Geesh. but I also have a feeling I would get a beat down even at 35.
 
Old 01-08-2010, 08:58 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
Could you just handle both of them for me and I'll take a vacation.

Oh and btw I'm pretty sure LaShara's phone was lighting up last night...LOL
HAHAHAHA.... I would have no problem with handling both of them....... Start your vacation now....

OH really.... I wonder why her phone was all blown up last night... LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qtip View Post
I'll take care of Leslie for ya MrsD, I will make that personal sacrifice....
hahaha.... Brave fucking soul.... She will eat you ALIVE
 
Old 01-08-2010, 09:49 PM   #16
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Okay. Well I was assumed it was the married daughter. I have no advice on a wild child. But when things do get better you need to make some type of agreement that no matter what the situation is between you two that maybe you make a daily "I'm alive" text or something.. that way you have at least some peace of mind.
 
Old 01-09-2010, 04:43 AM   #17
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^^^she has been told that before, shes not because its her way of punishing me. However she did finally text her sister last night.
 
Old 01-09-2010, 05:22 AM   #18
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oh that was nice of her
 
Old 01-09-2010, 06:44 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
HAHAHAHA.... I would have no problem with handling both of them....... Start your vacation now....

OH really.... I wonder why her phone was all blown up last night... LOL

hahaha.... Brave fucking soul.... She will eat you ALIVE
I've heard that all before...that's what the cage is for
 
Old 01-09-2010, 01:56 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikercw View Post
oh that was nice of her
Wasn't it though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qtip View Post
I've heard that all before...that's what the cage is for
and a stick, get a stick cuz she will bite the hand that feeds her. But then again when shes nice shes a sweetheart and will do anything for you. You just don't know when that other person is going to jump out. Shes a beautiful girl that needs to step back, and take a long serious look at her life. We did not raise her to be this way. She comes across with all the self confidence in the world and lets people believe she has life all figured out. When the truth is shes a scared little girl, who just wants someone to love her for her.
 
Old 01-10-2010, 12:33 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
But then again when shes nice shes a sweetheart and will do anything for you. You just don't know when that other person is going to jump out. Shes a beautiful girl that needs to step back, and take a long serious look at her life. We did not raise her to be this way. She comes across with all the self confidence in the world and lets people believe she has life all figured out.
QFT !!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
When the truth is shes a scared little girl, who just wants someone to love her for her
Which just boggles my mind.... geez I would treat her like a damn goddess
 
Old 01-12-2010, 06:06 PM   #22
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I feel bad for you MrsD... and Miss Leslie. For one, I would never tell my mom to EFF off no matter how mad I was and I believe that is most disrespectful. That's not acting like someone her age. I understand you want was is best for her because you are her mom, but I get the impression that really hurt your feelings. You should let her know that in the best way you know how.

If it were me, I think I would just leave her alone. Give it some time. She'll turn the corner because she knows deep down that you will still be there for her anyway. I think if you show her that you can respect her wishes, she'll learn what she has to lose. She may even learn how much support you give her and how lucky she really is.

I know there must be so much more to it, but this is just me trying to be supportive/helpful.
 
Old 01-12-2010, 06:36 PM   #23
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^^Thanks I appreciate your support and yes it did hurt a lot. She was never raised with such disrespect I asked her how can you say you respect me but still say that. She said its because I respect you that I feel I can. I'm not sure I understand that, my mom and I have certainly had our pit falls. However I would never tell her to FO or anything of that nature. Anyway I broke down and emailed her offering love and support, I know I caved. She did reply very honestly and cool but kind. The ball is in her court now, I feel I did the right Mom thing by making the first move, shes hurting too.
 
Old 01-12-2010, 06:58 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
^^Thanks I appreciate your support and yes it did hurt a lot. She was never raised with such disrespect I asked her how can you say you respect me but still say that. She said its because I respect you that I feel I can.
So she's doing it because she knows she can get away with it... seems a little bit like she's taking advantage of you in some ways.

Someday she'll probably regret saying those words to you.
 
Old 01-13-2010, 09:25 PM   #25
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Hope things are better sis...someday me and Leslie are gunna sit down and talk..not that it would do any good. That said, I WILL say something to the 'queen' on my next visit...let her know that - telling you to fuck off is a major no no. You know my stance, next time she needs something respond accordingly.
 
Old 01-14-2010, 01:39 AM   #26
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^^^^ Oh fuck off.... geez drama queen lol
 
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