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Old 11-25-2008, 06:12 AM   #1
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Q for the girls,ladies,women, gals....

Has weight ever been a a deal breaker for you to date someone?!?!

I know this has kinda been touched on in different threads... But answer anyways
 
Old 11-25-2008, 06:34 AM   #2
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No, not really (trying to remember back that far) If I was attracted to them it was usually the way they carried there self, there eyes, there voice and appearance as far as cleanliness. Weight was not a big thing to me, unless they were really big and sat down to eat 3 chickens and the sides that went with it, then it was a deal breaker.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 06:35 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsD View Post
No, not really (trying to remember back that far) If I was attracted to them it was usually the way they carried there self, there eyes, there voice and appearance as far as cleanliness. Weight was not a big thing to me, unless they were really big and sat down to eat 3 chickens and the sides that went with it, then it was a deal breaker.
thanks
 
Old 11-25-2008, 07:11 AM   #4
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Not really.....I don't really become attracted to a guy until I have a conversation with him and start getting to know him. If a guy is smart, can carry on a conversation, makes me laugh and is wonderful to be around then I will start to become attracted to him.

The one thing I have always said is that you can be sitting to the most attractive person in the room but after talking to them they become the most ugly person in the room. Or you can be sitting to someone that you probably wouldn't have noticed out on the street but the more you talk to them and get to know them the more sexy they become and you just can't get enough!!!!

For me a guys personality goes a long way.......
 
Old 11-25-2008, 07:51 AM   #5
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Confucious say "Big girl, big p*ssy, Small girl all p*ssy"
 
Old 11-25-2008, 07:55 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Annette View Post
Not really.....I don't really become attracted to a guy until I have a conversation with him and start getting to know him. If a guy is smart, can carry on a conversation, makes me laugh and is wonderful to be around then I will start to become attracted to him.

The one thing I have always said is that you can be sitting to the most attractive person in the room but after talking to them they become the most ugly person in the room. Or you can be sitting to someone that you probably wouldn't have noticed out on the street but the more you talk to them and get to know them the more sexy they become and you just can't get enough!!!!

For me a guys personality goes a long way.......
Well said and oh so true.

Weight had never been a deal breaker for me as I haven't dated many people BUT.... it obviously plays into the physical attraction side of things which we all know is a must. I, myself, prefer bigger guys. So if weight was ever an issue, it would be because he's too small/skinny.

And yeah.. the 3 chickens thing. Got a good giggle out of that.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 08:46 AM   #7
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i kind of have a thing about them not having a bigger belly than me. which isn't taking out a whole lot of people. mostly cause i had a belly guy once. and it was really gross during sex cause well...the whole thing was gross and i think it's just a reminder of a negative experience.

but never say never. it isn't a deal breaker. i'll get over it if i'm into you.

however my own weight has been a huge issue. and i'm pretty sure my own insecurity has been a deal-breaker for the other. either due to me refusing to let hands go anywhere or take any clothes off. or refusing to go to certain places because i just feel too fat to be seen in public. (being surrounded by 18 y/o bulimics isn't helping the cause) i am really surprised i didn't have an issue in front of terra on friday at her place. which might be a sign i'm regaining confidence while losing the belly. and all the other fat parts.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:23 AM   #8
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It can be a deal breaker for me...however there is always a line I wont cross.

I have to be physically attracted to someone. There is always the exception of when you're friends with someone you aren't attracted to, and after spending a lot of time with them you become attracted to them...strange how that works.

A good personality + "ok" looks = no problem.
A good personality + they are horrendously disfigured and/or morbidly obese = problem.

I'm not sure about anyone else, but for me, if someone is overweight and unattractive it's hard to be in a healthy relationship with them because I'm not going to lie, my sex life would deteriorate.

We wouldn't be able to have a healthy sexual relationship because I need someone with sex appeal...just the way it is...and for ME (not everyone) that means them being within certain physical standards...and everyone's standards are different.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:26 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plummy View Post
however my own weight has been a huge issue. and i'm pretty sure my own insecurity has been a deal-breaker for the other. either due to me refusing to let hands go anywhere or take any clothes off. or refusing to go to certain places because i just feel too fat to be seen in public. (being surrounded by 18 y/o bulimics isn't helping the cause) i am really surprised i didn't have an issue in front of terra on friday at her place. which might be a sign i'm regaining confidence while losing the belly. and all the other fat parts.

omg a big to that!

I feel you there...I've lost the weight, but the scared "fat girl" inside me still hates for my boyfriend to touch certain parts of me (even though we both know there's no reason to freak out anymore)...it's just so ingrained into my head...I have a mostly flat tummy now, but I still HATE for it to be touched.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:58 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Annette View Post
Not really.....I don't really become attracted to a guy until I have a conversation with him and start getting to know him. If a guy is smart, can carry on a conversation, makes me laugh and is wonderful to be around then I will start to become attracted to him.

The one thing I have always said is that you can be sitting to the most attractive person in the room but after talking to them they become the most ugly person in the room. Or you can be sitting to someone that you probably wouldn't have noticed out on the street but the more you talk to them and get to know them the more sexy they become and you just can't get enough!!!!

For me a guys personality goes a long way.......
so true... I know I can say for me I met my SO when he was in tip top condition with looks that could kill... well we have been together a while and our routines have changed and he has put on quite a bit of weight, but you know what... I'm still totally attracted to him and wouldn't change anything at all.
As for just getting to know each other... I agree with WB. If weight was ever an issue when starting out it would be because they guy was smaller than I am. But I have actually dated them a wide range and your personality is the deal breaker... not the weight.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 10:49 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plummy View Post
i kind of have a thing about them not having a bigger belly than me. which isn't taking out a whole lot of people. mostly cause i had a belly guy once. and it was really gross during sex cause well...the whole thing was gross and i think it's just a reminder of a negative experience.

but never say never. it isn't a deal breaker. i'll get over it if i'm into you.

however my own weight has been a huge issue. and i'm pretty sure my own insecurity has been a deal-breaker for the other. either due to me refusing to let hands go anywhere or take any clothes off. or refusing to go to certain places because i just feel too fat to be seen in public. (being surrounded by 18 y/o bulimics isn't helping the cause) i am really surprised i didn't have an issue in front of terra on friday at her place. which might be a sign i'm regaining confidence while losing the belly. and all the other fat parts.
i think ur beautiful plummy. When you know what's on the inside, you don't even notice the shell.

On that note, I just had to shave a woman's mellon due to cancer. She was sooo self concience about it. But like I told her, I didn't know her with hair, I have no judgment. I thought she looked down right beautiful bald. Her personality shined thru.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 10:54 AM   #12
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I was just thinking about this for the past two days. This person i've been friends with forever I NEVER thought was atttactive. And yesterday when I looked at him, I SAW an entirely different person. I mean he didn't even LOOK the same. it was kinda weird- but in a good way.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 10:55 AM   #13
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Something else to think about... it is totally different for men. I feel (not a man so I can't say any absolutes) that it is maybe a little more important for the first impression attraction that it is for a woman. Women tend to connect to the personality and then go to the attraction of appearance, where men 'seem' to do the opposite.

Thoughts?
 
Old 11-25-2008, 11:37 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
i think ur beautiful plummy. When you know what's on the inside, you don't even notice the shell.

On that note, I just had to shave a woman's mellon due to cancer. She was sooo self concience about it. But like I told her, I didn't know her with hair, I have no judgment. I thought she looked down right beautiful bald. Her personality shined thru.
you're making me cry
 
Old 11-25-2008, 11:42 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plummy View Post
you're making me cry
as long as they're happy tears, I'm okay with that.



So about roomin together at IMS....PM me gurl, i don't know where to stay.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 04:27 PM   #16
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I am curious as to whether or not looks are a deal breaker for the men.....
 
Old 11-25-2008, 04:30 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plummy View Post
however my own weight has been a huge issue. and i'm pretty sure my own insecurity has been a deal-breaker for the other. either due to me refusing to let hands go anywhere or take any clothes off. or refusing to go to certain places because i just feel too fat to be seen in public.

I know exactly what you mean.....for me it has been a life long struggle with my self confidence. I grew up with a drop dead gorgeous step sister and I was anything but gorgeous. Over the past year I have put on more weight and it is a day to day struggle. Especially since this past year I decided to start dating. That turned out to be a very bad idea......but anyway I think that is why I look past the looks. I would rather be with someone where I can spend hours laying in bed talking to them then to be with someone -who while is very attractive to women everywhere- I can't seem to connect to on any other level.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 08:59 PM   #18
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Quote:
I am curious as to whether or not looks are a deal breaker for the men.....
No. Not for me. It has already been said that personality goes along way. As I've grown and became more mature and knowledgeable there are many different things that I find attractive besides looks. Now, when I was young and dumb that was a different story.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:25 PM   #19
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At the risk of being accused of being shallow, looks are{ while not the most important factor}, absolutely a factor. I subscribe to the men and women are different idea. What Sittin pretty said is somewhat true. While many won't admit it, it is a biological fact. We are visual creatures and are therefore attracted or not to what we see. I am not stating my preference here, only that it does make a difference. We all have preferences, men and women. Women seem to be able to get past a physical preference easier than most men, it is simply a difference in wireing and does not make us pigs. It is how we use this or voice this information that make us pigs. Those that you would consider in that class anyway. Having said that, I and I am sure many men have and will date women that are not our perfect ten at first but can and have become so in our hearts and at that point our eyes as well. So deal breaker? I would have to say.....if to far from the preference zone, yes it could be and I will be the first to admit... it could be our loss.

Last edited by Jeeperman; 11-25-2008 at 09:28 PM.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:34 PM   #20
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please refer to "prime" post...id hit anything at this point
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:36 PM   #21
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i wouldn't blame a guy for not being attracted to this

 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:38 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
please refer to "prime" post...id hit anything at this point
See there ya have it....prferences out the window!
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:40 PM   #23
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh helllllll NO! OKAY, I'M SHALLOW, there's no way id hit that girl....i mean guy in plummy's post. ahahahahaha!
 
Old 11-25-2008, 09:45 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh helllllll NO! OKAY, I'M SHALLOW, there's no way id hit that girl....i mean guy in plummy's post. ahahahahaha!
Man you girls can be a little shallow even shehemonsters need a little lovin!
RC you did say anything.

Last edited by Jeeperman; 11-25-2008 at 09:48 PM.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 10:08 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeeperman View Post
Man you girls can be a little shallow even shehemonsters need a little lovin!
RC you did say anything.
i'm a woman and reserve the right to change my mind.
 
Old 11-25-2008, 10:16 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
i'm a woman and reserve the right to change my mind.
so true...
 
Old 11-25-2008, 10:30 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockerchic View Post
i'm a woman and reserve the right to change my mind.
Can't say I blame ya.
 
Old 11-26-2008, 08:15 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plummy View Post
i wouldn't blame a guy for not being attracted to this

OMG! I will clame shallow here... but you know what even that lady needs some love'n and I guess she is gettin' it...
 
Old 11-26-2008, 09:26 AM   #29
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Old 11-26-2008, 11:00 AM   #30
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Just read this in my Women's Health mag....

CHUB LOVE:
Got more to love? worry not: Heavy women get as much action as their thinner sisters. Researchers divided almost 7000 people into 3 groups based on BMI: normal weight, over weight and obese. They found no difference in the number of sexual partners or frequency of nooky among the groups. "Studies have shown that normal weight men have more partners than obese men," says principal investigator Bliss Kaneshiro, M.D., M.P.H. They may have difficulty attracting mates, but obese and over weight women evidently do not.

hmmm..
 
Old 11-26-2008, 11:16 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sittin Pretty View Post
Just read this in my Women's Health mag....

CHUB LOVE:
Got more to love? worry not: Heavy women get as much action as their thinner sisters. Researchers divided almost 7000 people into 3 groups based on BMI: normal weight, over weight and obese. They found no difference in the number of sexual partners or frequency of nooky among the groups. "Studies have shown that normal weight men have more partners than obese men," says principal investigator Bliss Kaneshiro, M.D., M.P.H. They may have difficulty attracting mates, but obese and over weight women evidently do not.

hmmm..
but how many of those guys that the obese women are with are their #1 pick? at a point, you do begin settling and accepting "what you can get" and give up, in a way.

also, like attracts like. pretty people tend to be with pretty people, homely with the homely. (tend, key word, did not say "all")

i could care less about how many partners i go through in life. it's quality rather than quantity. and i can only have my heart broken so many times before i give up and adopt a whole cat shelter.
 
Old 11-26-2008, 11:21 AM   #32
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You are so right with the 'like attracks like'... I think that goes with everything in life.

What I think is interesting is that the men seem to get shafted while the obese women still get their nooky.

True it may not be their first pick but it is still happening. I think that goes back to different standards men and women have for physical appearance.

**I will help with the cat farm anytime.... but I am down to only 2**
 
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